The 12 Stages Of Gay Sex

Written by somebody that should know.

It all starts with watching a musical.

This is also known as foreplay.

Paramount

After a chorus of "Defying Gravity" or "Summer Nights", it's time to move things to the bedroom.

The entire musical experience will have left both participants beyond the realm of horny.

Channel 4

Once in the bedroom, it's time to set the mood with some music. Britney Spears or Cher is usually the soundtrack for gay sex of course.

Kylie makes an appearance on extra special occasions.

RCA

Clothes are too expensive to just rip off. Instead, gay men stand either side of the bed, remove each item of clothing individually and carefully fold them into a neat pile.

This really gets the blood racing.

Deandrobot / Getty Images

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