The top 10 student-professor conversations from Japanese classrooms

Student: “It’s not bothering anyone, so what’s the problem?!” Professor: “Well, if you’re going to make me say it… the problem is with your head.”

When we’re young, we often look up to our teachers in awe; they seem to know everything about everything! But as we get older and the age gap between student and teacher wanes, and we begin thinking for ourselves and questioning things around us, that dynamic changes dramatically, often resulting in the sharing of profound wisdom, a battle of wits, or just plain silliness. Here we take a look at some of the best conversations from class that Japanese students shared on their Twitter accounts.

10. Special exceptions

ゼミの忘年会にて 僕「なんで定員越えてるのに、成績ダントツで悪い僕ゼミに入れてくれたんですか？」 教授「名前が元カレと同じだった」

—
こいけ (@Aa0pwC) December 22, 2015

At our class end-of-year party
Me: “Why did you let me join the class when it was over capacity and I had such terrible grades?”
Professor: “Because your name was the same as my ex-boyfriend’s.”

9. Time to grow up

教授｢赤ちゃんは生後5～6ヶ月たつと二次元と三次元の区別がつくようになります｣ 私｢やべぇ私まだできてない｣

—
雪峰 (@mirin56) December 01, 2011

Professor: “Babies are able to distinguish between 2D and 3D at just five to six months old.”
Me: “Oh man, I’m still not able to!”

8. She has a point…

教授「独り言というのは個人内対話が言葉に出てしまうことなんですね。ちなみに個人内対話を文字化したものがTwitterです」 学生「なるほど……確かに……」

—
野坂遼悟 (@iwagomori) December 14, 2015

Professor: “Talking to oneself is when your inner dialogue accidentally comes out in speech. The written version of this phenomenon we would call Twitter.” Class: “Ah… That’s right…”

7. A harsh reality check

心理学の授業で「心理学的に女性は周囲の異性の中で『してくれた嬉しかった事』が一番多い人を好きになる」 教室がオオーッて感心したけど、続けて「イケメンの場合は一緒にいるだけで嬉しく感じるから自動的に”嬉しいポイント”が溜まっていくのです」って教授が言った途端教室がアアーッてなった。

—
かずくん【公式】 (@kazukntv) October 14, 2015

In psychology class: “Psychologically, of the men in her life, the one a woman is likely to fall for is the one who does the most things that make her happy.” The class “ooh”ed in admiration, when the professor continued, “But in the case of a good-looking guy, just being near her makes her happy so he is scores points automatically.” Then the class “aah”ed in realization.

6. …

教授「実験中に赤痢菌を飲んじゃった学生がいましてね」 学生「ﾜﾊﾊﾊﾊ」 教授「私なんですよ」 学生「」

—
燐酸 あかりんかわかわ (@arcueid_brunest) April 22, 2014

Professor: “Someone in the class swallowed the shigella bacteria during the experiment, did they?”
Class: “Hahahah!”
Professor: “It was me.”
Class: “…”

5. Well, that escalated quickly

学生実験の時、みんな名札を胸につけてて「大学生になってまでなんで名札なんですか？」って先生たちに聞いたら「顔に硫酸とか浴びてわからなくなっちゃっても本人確認ができるからだよ。」って答えた教授。

—
✝キラー✝ (@phacty) September 22, 2013

During a class experiment, everyone was wearing their name badges when I asked the professor, “Why do we have to wear name tags all the way up through university?” The professor replied, “So that if you get sulphuric acid or something on your face and we can’t tell who you are, we can still identify you…”

4. Ask, and ye shall receive

「教授ー卒論の締切すこし延長してください」「おう、じゃああと一年な」

—
マウンテンプクイチ1日目A-86b (@pukuichi) January 27, 2011

“Professor, can’t you extend the deadline for my graduation thesis?” “Oh, well how about one more year?”

3. Jeepers creepers

授業中にiPhoneでTwitterみてたら、先生にiPhone没収されて今返して貰ったんだけどさ、返してもらう際に『次授業中にiPhoneで遊んでたらTwitterでフォローするぞ』と脅されたから、もう二度と授業にiPhoneで遊ばないと心に決めた。

—
シャマラン (@mwmMmwm) October 17, 2011

My professor confiscated my iPhone after he caught me checking Twitter during class. I just now got it back but when he gave it back he said, “If I catch you playing on your phone again in class I’m going to follow you on Twitter.” I’ve made up my mind I won’t play with my phone in class ever again.

2. If only I had 2,000 dollars to spend…

学生「相手を知るにはどうすればいいのか」教授「20万の使い道だ」学生「え？」教授「20万あれば自転車、バイク、PC、楽器、特注スーツ、カメラ等だいたいの趣味用品のひとつが買える。相手の趣味とその深さを知るには最適の質問だ」

—
まさおか さくらい (@Apple10ce) February 25, 2012

Student: “What should I do to get to know my partner better?” Professor: “The 2k method.” Student: “Huh?” Professor: “If you have 2k you can buy pretty much anything people enjoy as hobbies, like a bike, motorcycle, computer, musical instrument, custom-made suit, camera, etc. The real question is how you can understand their hobby and the profundity of it.”

1. An unexpected turn of events

スマホいじってた女子学生を教授が退室させようとしたら女子学生が「誰にも迷惑かけてないのになにが悪いんですか！？」という怒涛の逆ギレ。それに対して教授が「そうですね…強いて言うなら頭でしょうか」って返したのが今日のハイライト。

—
ハンターぐんまぐろ (@asahayaiP) April 16, 2015

Highlight of the day: In class, when the professor tried to kick out a girl who was playing on her cell phone, she got angry at him and shouted, “It’s not bothering anyone is it? So what’s the problem?!” The professor replied, “Hmm, well, if you’re going to make me say it… the problem is with your head.”

Having a quick-witted professor who’s not afraid to say what’s on his or her mind, who’s got an answer for everything, and who isn’t afraid of having a little fun makes showing up to class much less of a chore. Be sure to share with us any memorable moments you have from your teachers, past or present!

Source: grape
Top image: FreeDigitalPhotos/ Ohmmy3d edited by RocketNews24

Origin: The top 10 student-professor conversations from Japanese classrooms
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