4 Ways To Ease Your Guilt About Catching Feelings For A One-Night Stand

Tinder can either be a disgusting place, or an amazing one. I’ve had my fair share of dick pics, nasty pickup lines and the banal, “hey, DTF?” I’ve also experienced incredibly deep conversations that have led to the exchange of phone numbers, days of texting and then the final phase: a first meeting.

Last week, the latter of the two happened. He started with a poignant reference to my declaration of “feminist” in my profile, was able to keep my interest piqued with witty conversation, puns and the occasional stunning compliment. Eventually, we moved offline and into the land of the text message. Our conversation continued for days. He was political, intelligent, goal-oriented and f*cking hot. He was essentially the Chupacabra of Tinder, the white unicorn if you will.

We planned a meeting for Friday night. Starbucks was our venue of choice. The day before our meeting, I got a text from him that put a brutal halt to the warm and fuzzy attraction I was feeling. “You seem awesome, I like our conversation, but I’m starting grad-school in the fall and can’t commit.” Essentially he was saying, “let’s come together, have fun, but then never speak again.”

Wounded, I considered my options here. Do I look out for the emotional freak that I am by not meeting this person, or should I allow myself to have fun, get laid and treat this for what it is: a one-night f*cking stand?

Since I like to self-sabotage, I chose option B. We met, grabbed lattes and decided to walk around the area and chat. A quick walk led to hours of talking about everything we could think of. Sure enough, his stellar charm translated into the real world. He was fun.

We walked to his nearby apartment, the conversation kept up, we listened to vinyls and he played the perfect host. Eventually words turned into kisses, which turned into that gorgeous walk to the bedroom, which turned into sex. Really awesome, a little rough, day-making sex.

Afterward, when we realized how late it had gotten, we decided that I should sleep over again (because I enjoy self-sabotage.) A few hours later, he sweetly woke me up, reminded me that I needed to get to work, and made me a killer cup of coffee. We walked back to my car, reminded each other that this was a one-time deal, and parted ways.

Fast forward a few days, and damnit if I don’t have a huge crush on this mother f*cker. So now what? There is zero chance for a “next time,” and I get that. I accept it; hell I accepted it before I met him. But now I feel a longing to text him. So what the f*ck are we to do when we develop feelings for a fling? I have some ideas:

1. Remember there are more where that came from. You will find bigger and better fish in the sea. Just because this fling was amazing doesn’t mean you will never find amazing again.

2. Revel in the fact that you had a good time. Nothing lasts forever, and if your fling’s sole purpose in your life was to bring you one night of awesome, accept that and let it be that.

3. Be honest with how you feel. You never know what may happen when you tell your fling the truth. Even if it leads you nowhere with this person, you will feel better getting this off of your chest. Honesty heals, babe.

4. Be upfront with your feelings in the future. If you aren’t interested in one-nighters, tell potential dates that. It will save you some potential pain down the road. Or at least you have done what you can to prevent that pain. When it comes down to it babes, be upfront. If you know that you are an emotionally attached kind of person who probably will not do well with a one-night stand, don’t put yourself through it.

Though I learned a lot from this experience, I am sort of kicking my ass for doing it because of the hurt that I feel now. I am more than likely not cut out for “casual,” and that is okay. Learn to give yourself a break, don’t judge yourself and let yourself have fun. Above all, be honest with where you are in your journey and let the rest fall into place.

4 Ways To Ease Your Guilt About Catching Feelings For A One-Night Stand

Credit: Dating – Elite Daily