Eight Tales of the Unexpected (Japanese Twitter edition)
Introducing some of the strange situations that had Japanese Twitter users both amused, and bemused.
Everyone has a funny anecdote that can be brought out to entertain and delight, usually involving somebody’s cousin’s boyfriend’s uncle’s gardener (although most of ours involve Mr. Sato), the kind of story that seems innocuous enough until the twist comes. Here we present some of the Twitter stories that fit that bill, the Tales of the Unexpected.
The Lucky Otaku:
Dating can be hard for the otaku, even in Japan, and even with their own special dating services. For many, they can’t really hope that their spouses will approve of their interests, or the amount of money they might invest in them. For this one lucky Beyblade fan, however, his wife proved rather more understanding than he expected.
“When her husband goes out and buys Beyblades, you can imagine the reaction of a wife with a firm grasp on the couple’s purse strings. ‘You’ve been out wasting money, again!?’. Or most normal thinking wives might say, ‘Just grow up!’.
My wife? ‘3! 2! 1! Shoot! Waaaaagh!’ (as the Beyblade goes flying out of the stadium)”
Soap Perfume:
Twitter user @ame00333’s friend (“friend”?) was so enamoured with the smell of her soap that she decided it would replace perfume in keeping her smelling good.
“A friend, who really likes the smell of soap, told me ‘Instead of perfume, I decided to make my own by soaking soap in water and making a spray so I could cover myself in that perfect smell whenever I liked. Except that one day it started raining and I was covered head to toe in bubbles.”
Friendly old man:
It’s only good manners to exchange greetings with your neighbours, but Twitter user @tama_ranchi discovered that headphones are no impediment.
“There’s always an older man in the place where I park my bike who, with a friendly smile, says ‘Okaeri’ (Japanese greeting welcoming somebody home) to me but I’m always listening to music with my headphones in and taking them out is a hassle so without actually hearing him I always say ‘Tadaima’ (greeting announcing one’s return). I got to thinking what the man’s voice actually sounded like. One day, with my headphones still in but with the music paused, I saw him and, would you believe it, he was just mouthing ‘Okaeri’.”
Almost, but not quite:
The secret to romance, as with comedy, is often timing. Catch the object of your affections at the right time (single and/or sufficiently desperate/vulnerable) and love can bloom. Twitter user @a_do_If managed to declare his feelings after the girl he was fond of had just had an argument with her boyfriend.
“Ages ago, after a girl I was interested in had a fight with her boyfriend, she gave me the whole ‘I think I like you’ sort of thing. I had to refuse, saying ‘Eh? Really? Yeah, but… you’ve got a boyfriend! It’s no good’. ‘Well, I’ll just go and break up with him then, right now.’ and with that she went to his house to break up with him. Then she told me they’d made up. Anybody understand how I feel?”
Talked to by a pretty girl:
Talking to an excessively pretty girl, or hot guy, can be a nerve-wracking experience, but what do you do when one strikes up a conversation with you at a busy train station?
“Today, I went to Tokyo and, there at the station, a beautiful girl called out to me. I thought to myself, ‘I’m in luck!’, and started getting all nervous. Turns out she just wanted to give me a promotional pack of tissues, advertising something or other. You had me all excited!”
Well, at least now @miori_inori has something to wipe away his tears with.
Photo request:
Twitter user @m_e_g was taken aback when the beautician at the salon asked to take a photo of her new hairdo, but even more taken aback when…
“Sad times! I go to this a new beauty salon for the first time to get a drastically new hairstyle and the beautician asks me ‘Is it alright if I take a photo of your haircut. It’s just, it really suits you’. Certainly, the beautician does Instagram and probably wants to put my photo up on that, oh alright. So with that expectation I waited, but they never posted it!”
The love of a good fish:
A simple message from a loved one showing that they’re thinking of you can lift your spirits, and brighten the darkest day. Twitter user @aki_0314 got a text from her husband that made her very happy, but thanks to a quirk of the Japanese language that lets you omit the last part of a sentence, it wasn’t the thought of seeing her that had him all excited.
“I got a text from my husband ‘I really like (you)! I’m on my way home!’ so I got all excited, but then I realised that about an hour before, thinking about dinner, I’d text him asking if he’d like albacore tuna for his dinner. He wasn’t saying he liked me, but that he liked the fish.”
Flower language:
In various cultures, flowers are associated with different emotions or concepts. For example the rose as a symbol of beauty and the lily as a symbol of innocence (of the departed soul in the case of funerals). Japan has its on set of associations, known as hana kotoba. In the West, during the Victorian age, flowers were used by lovers to send clandestine messages to each other.How romantic? Not so much, for Twitter user @nkmrerk.
“I was given the name of a flower by my parents, but once, a guy I was interested in suddenly sent me a message asking ‘Do you know the meaning of your name in flower language?’. ‘Thank you so much parents, that it would lead to this is amazing!’ I thought so I replied excitedly ‘What is it? I don’t know!’. ‘Loneliness and betrayal.’ I was told, with a serious face. Loneliness and betrayal…”
While some of these stories have the ring of the apocryphal about them, they’ve raised a few wry smiles among other Japanese Twitter users. They’re also good to enough to pass off as your own, or your cousin’s boyfriend’s uncle’s gardener’s.
Source: Naver Matome
Featured image: Pakutaso
Insert images: Pakutaso, Pixabay, Pakutaso (2, 3, 4, 5), Gahag, Pixabay (2)
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