Cynics and romantics in Japan debate list of promises for lovers in five-year relationships

Some see a road map to lasting romance, others see a direct course to a pain in the butt.

For any personal relationship to continue, you and the other party have to see eye to eye on a lot of things, and those shared attitudes become even more important if the relationship is a romantic one. So when Japanese Twitter user @iv_silver_two recently shared a list of promises couples who can stay together for five years make to each other, it got a lot of attention by those looking for hints to cultivate a happy love life.

5年間続いてるカップルのお約束。 続く理由に納得した。 https://t.co/2Ln7O8lkP1

—
かわいい.com (@iv_silver_two) May 08, 2018

The list’s bullet points are:

● If we’re gonna have a fight, let’s have a fight! But let’s also make up the same day.
● Let’s enjoy our lives right now.
● Let’s share with each other! Our plans, joys, and worries.
● Let’s be open and honest in putting our feelings into words! Sometimes you can understand how your partner feels about you without being told, but isn’t it nice to hear it?
● When we have an idea, let’s make it happen!
● Let’s warn each other if we’re making a mistake or causing a problem! Always biting your tongue because it’s the “nice” thing to do is no good.
● Let’s like each other’s faults too.
● Let’s never tell lies that hurt each other! But it’s OK to fib if it’s setting up a happy surprise.
● Let’s hold hands, no matter how many years we’ve been together.
● Let’s have an open, honest side of ourselves that we only show each other.
● Sometimes, we have to put up with things we don’t like.
● Let’s never forget to appreciate each other, no matter what else is happening.

@iv_silver_two’s list has pulled in over 55,000 likes so far, with those in agreement leaving comments such as:

“Whether the message is a happy one or not, if you want someone to understand you, it’s important to tell them. Attitudes like ‘You know, right?’ and ‘I shouldn’t have to explain any more’ don’t work.”
“Couples that stay together for a long time never forget to appreciate each other. The ones that break up right away are the ones are the ones that lose that feeling of gratitude.”
“Writing all this down for future reference.”

However, the list also caught the attention of more than a few cynics, who said

“What a pain in the butt.”
“That all sounds really difficult.”
“I can’t survive being so pure-hearted.”
“I think the list sounds more like a couple that’s dated for five years but not married yet.”
“Making all those individual promises really kills the mood.”

The last detractor does have a bit of a point, since such a lengthy list of promises could start to sound like a lift of demands. One middle-of-the-road commenter had an idea about that, though:

“I think the couples that really last are the ones who already subconsciously agree on those points before they explicitly make the promises to do them for each other.”

In other words, a mix of preexisting compatibility and a willingness to communicate and verbally reassure each other makes for a pretty good framework to build a happy relationship around.

Source: Twitter/@iv_silver_two via Hachima Kiko
Top image: Pakutaso
Insert image: Pakutaso

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