Nanotech professor from one of Japan’s top universities arrested for panty-theft

Looks like Nerdlinger’s bra bomb didn’t work.

Keio University is one of the oldest and top private universities in Japan. As the alma mater of numerous CEOs, prime ministers, Nobel Prize nominees, and astronauts, it can be seen as the country’s equivalent of Harvard in the U.S.A. or Oxford in the U.K.

So, when one of its professors is busted during an impromptu pantie-raid, it’s just that much more embarrassing.

At about 2 p.m. on 17 November, Seimei Shiratori, a professor in Keio’s Department of Applied Physics and Physico-Informatics, was allegedly strolling through the streets of Ichikawa City, Chiba Prefecture, when he spotted a bra and pair of panties which belonged to a woman in her 30s, hanging out to dry on a first-floor balcony.

According to police, the founder of Shiratori Nanotechnology couldn’t resist the allure of the damp garments–valued at 400 yen (US$3.68)–and moved in to pilfer them. The husband of the owner of said underwear spotted Shiratori red-handed, and shouted “Thief!”

The 56-year-old then allegedly high-footed it out of there, but was picked up by police only a few hundred meters up the street, suggesting either the police just happened to be really close-by or are amazingly vigilant when it comes to underwear theft.

▼ Rest assured that someone is out there, protecting your underwear from professors of elite universities

Shiratori is said to have confessed to the theft saying, “There is no question I stole underwear.” A few hours later, after confirming that it was actually one of their faculty, Keio University issued a statement saying, “It is very regrettable that one of our faculty members was arrested. We are currently confirming the facts and will take strict measures.”

But such a petty and pervy crime by a member of such a prestigious institution is sure to get the attention of netizens, all of whom had a lot to say about it.

“He’s obviously developing a water resistant nanotech coating for panties. Let the man work!”
“Wow. That’s amazingly stupid. I feel better about myself now.”
“How do the guy’s students move on from something like this?”
“I feel really bad for the poor woman who was put on blast for having a 400-yen underwear set.”
“Keio University again?!”

The last comment is a reference to allegations made about a month ago in which a member of the Keio University football team is accused of secretly taking a picture of a bathing female student.

In light of these recent sexual offenses, it’s important to remember the Keio is Japan’s oldest private university of its kind, dating back to 1859.

Many younger people might not recall, but there was a time when universities and colleges around the world were overrun with antics of sexual deviancy, described as “wacky” by scholars of the time. However, by about the late ’80s things had reached a point where the entire concept of higher education was set to implode in a critical mass of inappropriate zaniness. While virtually nonexistent now, this dark period was chronicled in tomes such as Revenge of the Nerds (1984) and its antithesis, Jocks (1986).

▼ 1985’s seminal School Spirit took a chillingly existential look at this time in human history.

So, we can at least be assured that Keio University, through its rich history, has a sophisticated mechanism for dealing with these kinds of wrongdoing. If the historical cinematic records are anything to go by, we can assume the professor will have to take part in a yachting regatta or skiing contest (depending on the season) to clear his name and save a community center of his own choosing.

Source: Asahi Shimbun (1, 2), Hachima Kiko
Top image: Pakutaso
Insert image: Pakutaso (1, 2)
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