We buy the lowest-rated sexy pillow on Amazon Japan

Don’t buy a sexy pillow without doing your homework.

Our writer Masanuki Sunakoma has been so hard at work finding and testing the most disreputable items on Amazon Japan for quite some time now. From tiny hats and gloves to annoying floating speakers that don’t float, Masanuki has amassed a constantly growing collection of crap.

At this point he’s even having trouble keeping track of all the things arriving on his doorstep. That’s what happened the other day, when he was greeted by this jaunty package.

The cartoon couple riding a bicycle looked so idyllic, there must have been something lovely inside, but he was at a loss about what it might be. It looked like a big pillow of some kind.

Opening the bag, it was indeed a pillow or cushion and quite big, but somewhat oddly shaped.

Judging by the pleasant packaging, Masanuki was hoping for some kind of soothing pillow to help him sleep in these hot and stressful times. There was just one more layer of plastic wrapping to undo.

▼ Masanuki: “Ohhhhhhhh…that.”

It finally dawned on our writer that this was the macho pillow he had ordered from Amazon a while back. Although he did order this, he really wasn’t expecting it at that time, based on the way the package looked. It was probably meant to throw off any nosy neighbors scoping out his sexy deliveries.

The proper name of this product is the Muscle Man Body Pillow Cushion Therapeutic Human Body Pillow Sleep Interior Life-Size Daki Pillow and it sells for 2,900 yen (US$21) plus shipping.

As its prolonged name suggests, this pillow is designed for both sleep comfort and interior decoration. And yet, despite this versatility it only received a one-star review, that complained: “It’s too big!!! It gets in the way…”

That didn’t really seem fair, since the name said it was “life-size” and there were plenty of pictures with a model to give a sense of its size. The real thing certainly lived up to that, but the photos never showed what the other side looked like, so Masanuki flipped it over…

▼ Masanuki: “Whoa…”

This baby got no back, just two front sides. That was probably a weak point, but even with that quirk, this pillow did not seem to deserve one star. Masanuki tossed it onto his bed and it happened to land next to his pillow with a Nicolas Cage cover that he had bought from the American Amazon website.

Naturally, he had to try…

Looking at the star of Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans and Ghost Rider: The Spirit of Vengeance in this way just made Masanuki sad – not for Nick, who’s no doubt doing fine wherever he is, but for himself. He had entered a place in his life where he felt he shouldn’t be and as he stared into the Oscar-winner’s dreamy eyes he began to reevaluate the choices he made to get to this point.

As he normally does, Masanuki posed for some photos along with the low-rated item he bought. However, after looking at the finished product he felt they weren’t fit for publication. They were cursed images and no one should have to see them.

The pillow itself was totally fine though. So, if you happen to be in the market for a life-size macho-man pillow with no butt, then this will do the job for a fairly reasonable price. Just keep it far away from your Nicolas Cage pillow cover.

Related: Amazon / Muscle Man Body Pillow Cushion Therapeutic Human Body Pillow Sleep Interior Life-Size daki Pillow
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