How do you explain Japan’s historic World Cup win against Germany to the common man?

Japan beating Germany 2-1 was pretty incredible, and we explain just how so using Dragon Ball, women’s wrestling and… monetary measures?

When it was announced that Japan’s first football World Cup match would be against Germany, everyone pretty much assumed Japan’s opening match would end in a loss. Even when Taiyo, an otter from a Japanese aquarium, predicted that Japan would be victorious, most of the reactions were a mix of disbelief and amusement.

▼ Taiyo, guessing that Japan would win

So when Japan ended up scoring two goals at the last minute, snatching the win from right under Germany’s nose, it was the upset of the century. After all, Germany has won the World Cup an impressive four times, whereas Japan have yet to even make the top eight.

Needless to say, Japan winning is a Pretty Big Deal, and our reporter P.K. Sanjun was aware of this. But despite being a member of the football club when he was back at school, he currently has no interest in football at all.

As a baseball fan, P.K. doesn’t really dip his toe into the world of football, so while he was certainly pleased that Japan took home the win, he couldn’t quite grasp just how monumental the result actually is. He didn’t even watch the winning game, and he was still on the fence as to whether he’d watch the next one.

But the general post-match atmosphere in the SoraNews24 office (and indeed, across Japan in general) was one of excitement and celebration, and P.K. felt like he was missing out. So he decided to ask his co-workers to explain just how exciting Japan’s win against Germany was in terms that he, the everyday common man, could understand.

The first guy P.K asked was Takashi Harada, who is a huge football fan, and a fan of sports in general.

▼ Our sports pundit Takashi Harada, who loves sports as much as he apparently loves destroying his wallpaper

Takashi: “Well, if I were to use a baseball related example, it’s kind of like when, back in 2013, Masahiro Tanaka ended his season with a perfect 24-0 record. That was a huge deal, right? Like, it’s not an impossible feat, but it’s certainly unlikely. I’d say Japan’s victory over Germany rivals Tanaka’s 24-0 record, in terms of impact.“

P.K. was shocked. Tanaka was considered almost god-like at the time, and his record shocked the world of baseball. Was the Japanese football team really on the same level as Tanaka?

P.K. still needed more, so he turned to Seiji Nakazawa. Seiji wasn’t an expert on sports, so he decided to explain using a concept he was more familiar with — Dragon Ball.

Seiji: “Let’s see… it’s as if Yamcha beat Nappa. No, more than that… it’s as if Yamcha beat Vegeta!“

What?! That’s impossible! Yamcha was killed by a Saibaman, so how on earth would he have any hope of beating Vegeta?! The Japanese football team have achieved something truly incredible! 

Next, P.K. asked wrestling super fan Go Hatori for his comparison.

Go: “This is kind of an old example, but I’m going to use an analogy from an All Japan Women’s Pro-Wrestling match from the ’90s. This win would be like Numacchi beating Akira Hokuto! And not only that, but it’s like she won doing a Northern Lights Bomb, and pinning her opponent whilst giving the middle finger!”

▼ For reference, Numacchi is the wrestler with a plastic spade.

P.K. was stunned once more. There’s absolutely no way that Numacchi would ever win against someone as strong as Akira Hokuto! And not just that, but with a devastating move like the Northern Lights Bomb!  If Japan beating Germany is as unbelievable as this, then Japan’s feat must be really amazing!

He was already starting to get an idea of just how incredible Japan’s victory was, but he decided to ask one more person — football fanatic and our boss, Yoshio, who gave a bit of a puzzling analogy.

Yoshio: “Maybe it’s not quite the same, but it’s like if Japan suddenly had the highest GDP (gross domestic product) score in the world. Like if Japan overtook the U.S.A. It’s unbelievable!!”

…. right. Well, that’s certainly something pretty incredible.

So with everyone’s excellent examples (and Yoshio’s somewhat strange example), P.K. was finally able to understand just how incredible Japan’s win against Germany was, and now he’s already looking forward to their next match against Costa Rica.

Sadly, Taiyo the World Cup otter has retired from the world of predictions, so we’ll have to just to wait and see how far into the competition Japan will go. Will they make it to the top 8 this year? Or better yet, will they become World Cup champions?

Only time will tell, but you better believe fresh new World Cup fan P.K. will be cheering them on along the way.

Photos ©SoraNews24
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at 21:13

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