Twentythree

An epic tale of pornography, revenge, alcohol, and pumpkins.

If you ever have the pleasure of meeting our Japanese-language correspondent Go Hattori, your first impression will probably be what a nice guy he is. Intelligent and worldly, yet humble and soft-spoken, Go’s gentle voice and calm demeanor immediately identify him as a great friend to have.

But if you’re an online scam artist, there’s no worse enemy than Go.

▼ The opposite but equal sides of Go’s personality.

Go has previously used his combination of smarts and tenacity to crush the spirit of a would-be Amazon gift card con man, but today he’s not fighting for himself. No, today he’s going up against on online villains to take vengeance for an ordinary junior high school boy…and also because fighting the good fight gives him a chance to briefly look at Internet porn during his working hours.

Recently, Go was talking with a friend whose son is in the seventh grade. It turns out the boy had a desire to look at naked ladies (like we said, an ordinary junior high school kid), and so he logged on to a Japanese adult video site with the rather innocuous-sounding name of Internet Patrol. However, as is often the case with digital pornography purveyors, the site employs some shady methods to squeeze cash out of visitors, and Go’s friend said his son almost got scammed into paying service fees he’d never agreed to.

And so Go’s quest for vengeance began. Back in the privacy of his own home, he whipped out his smartphone and pointed his browser to the site, which was filled with titillating thumbnails of available videos.

▼ The actual site is far less pixilated, obviously.

Using his professional acumen, Go selected a video of a young woman with an electric massager inserted between her legs, and tapped the play button. But instead of starting any sexy action, Go’s tap merely brought up another button on the video player, a large pink one that said “Next” in Japanese text.

But tapping this didn’t start the video either. Instead, as soon as Go pressed the button, he heard a sound like a camera shutter snapping a picture. Wait…did Go’s phone just capture an image of his adult video-expecting face? As he was grappling with the question, a popup message appeared saying “Thank you for registering with our site.”

The message continued with

Your member ID has been issued
Thank you for using this charged adult site.
Your device data has been safely stored.
You will be charged 150,000 yen [US$1,300] for a 365-day use contract.

But eventually, Go started to see through the scare tactics. For example, the section of the message labeled “stored device information” listed just his browser and phone model, with no other sensitive data. Still, Go could imagine a less technologically savvy visitor to the website falling hook, line, and sinker for these ploys, especially when an ominous countdown timer appeared underneath another popup message demanding payment be made for the year-long contract.

However, there was one ray of light, which was a notice that read “If you registered accidentally, call our customer support center, and we’ll help you right away.” So Go decided to do just that, and below is the record of the conversational battle of wits our reporter engaged in with the porn site’s customer service reps.

▼ The entire lengthy discussion can be viewed here, in Japanese, but a translated summary follows.

Internet Patrol staff member: Customer support center.

Go Hattori: Hello. The other day, I looked at your site, and I heard a shutter sound.

IP: Yes, when you register, there is a shutter sound.

GH: What does that sound mean?

IP: Ah, the sound means your registration is complete.

GH: But, what does the sound mean?

IP: Yeah, that sound is…well…

GH: It means that a picture of something was taken, right?

IP: Well, then yeah, a picture of something was probably taken. I don’t know of what though. I mean, you heard the shutter, right?

The slippery Internet Patrol employee wasn’t saying that hey had a picture of Go’s face, but he wasn’t denying it either, so our reporter decided to force the issue.

GH: So what was a picture taken of?

IP: Look, why is it that you’re calling? What’s your member ID number?

GH: Oh, it’s –

IP: Please hold on a moment.

The operator then left Go on hold for two minutes and five seconds. But Go displayed his legendary tenacity by sitting in his comfortable chair and waiting until the operator finally returned.

IP: So, can I have your ID number?

GH: 0386881

IP: I need to check on some things, so please hold.

And then Go was on hold for another two minutes and 57 seconds, until the operator came back with:

IP: Last night, at 11:19, you registered with our site. So why are you calling?

GH: I heard a shutter noise,

IP: I’m not talking about the shutter sound. I can’t talk about that. I’m not talking about the shutter sound.

It’s kind of sweet that he actually thought that would even slow Go down.

GH: So I heard a shutter sound, and it said “Your device data has been securely saved.”

IP: First of all, how did you find our site? Did you erase your cookies? Look, you don’t have the right code, so I’m going to hang up.

GH: What? What code?

IP: Yeah, the code. Please contact us once you have it.

GH: What code?

IP. Good luck with that. Good luck with that. So, did you have something you wanted to say?

This was actually a pretty impressive attempt to simultaneously confuse and frustrate Go. However, became neither, keeping a cool head as he had in similar battles before.

GH: So, I heard this shutter sound.

IP: Look, I’m not asking you about the shutter sound right now. I’d like to know just why you’re calling us.

GH: So, the message I got said something about a contract costing 150,000 yen.

IP: Yes, yes, yes.

GH: But before we get into that, there was this shutter sound-

IP: What are you talking about? Don’t just go moving the conversation along however you want to.

GH: So what is the shutter sound?

IP: Before we talk about that, why are you calling?

GH: I got a message that said ID registration was complete, and when I clicked, it gave me an ID number, so I called.

IP: Oh, really. Well can you call us again once you’ve got your campaign code? You don’t have one, so you’re talking nonsense.

GH: What? I don’t understand.

Apparently sensing a crack in Go’s defenses, the Internet Patrol employee began barraging our reporter with straight-up gibberish.

IP: Dyundorurun dyundyururu, you know? Right?

GH: What?

IP: That’s what’s going on with you. You’re warping. A pumpkin. Really, what you’re doing is warping. Don’t warp. It’s better to do things in order. So nope, I can’t help you.

GH: Look, my friend told me about this site, so I wanted to check it out and-

IP: Oh, I get it. This is a prank call, isn’t it?

GH: No, no, not at all.

IP: This is a prank call. You don’t even have a code. Look, is it OK if I just hang up? I’m busy. Sir, I…I have a hangover.

IP: I drank too much. So I’m not in the mood for prank calls.

GH: No, this isn’t a prank call. I’m worried about what sort of picture was taken.

And with that, the Internet Patrol employee unceremoniously hung up.

So Go unceremoniously called right back, and the same employee answered the phone again.

IP: Customer support center.

GH: Hello. I think a picture was taken of something-

IP: Is that you again? I don’t know anything about a picture. I don’t know anything about it. I don’t. Just what is it you want? Cut to the chase.

GH: I want to know if a picture was taken.

IP: Cut to the chase.

GH: Yes, yes, I will. I’m worried, so I want to know whether or not a picture was actually taken.

IP: I want you to tell me why you’re calling. That’s what I’m asking.

GH: So like I keep trying to tell you, I heard a shutter and-

IP: Look, can you stop calling us?

GH: I’d like keep calling until I get an answer, because I’m really worried.

IP: Look, buddy, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m the one who’s worried. I’m going to have a nervous breakdown talking to you. I’m having a nervous breakdown, and it’s your fault.

GH: When I said I heard a shutter sound, you said “Yes, yes.”

IP: I want to drink some Cabe 2 [a popular Japanese energy drink/hangover cure].

GH: Cabe 2? Oh, OK. I think clams are good for hangovers too. But anyway-

IP: Clams…clam soup…like 10 of them, right?

GH: Yeah, it really does the trick.

IP: I’m intrigued. That sounds really good.

Go could see that the conversation was getting a little off track. Still, sometimes you have to deal with online scammers like you’re catching a fish, letting out a little line and letting them run with it where they want before trying to reel them back in.

GH: So I’m worried about the shutter sound.

IP: Have any of your pubes turned gray?

GH: Yeah, some of them have.

IP: Hmm…so you must be pretty up there in age.

GH: Uh, yeah, I guess so.

IP: Hmm.

GH: So I’d be worried if some sort of picture was taken using my phone’s camera.

IP: Like what?

GH: Like a picture of me.

IP: What do you mean by “a picture of you?”

GH: I mean just that: a picture of me,

IP: Oh, I see. Well, I’ve got other callers on hold, so I’ll be hanging up.

True to his word, the Internet Patrol employee hung up again, which of course just meant that Go called him back again, entering into a third telephone conversation with his adversary.

IP: Hello, customer support center.

GH: Hello?

IP: You just won’t let it go, will you? You seriously won’t.

GH: So, a picture of something was taken, right?

IP: Give it a rest, No, no picture was taken.

Finally! After nearly ten minutes on the phone, Go had finally gotten the employee to admit that the shutter sound was a scam.

GH: It wasn’t?

IP: Nooooo it wasn’t.

GH: So what does the “device data saved” message mean?

IP: We didn’t. Look, just stop. Stop with the prank calls.

GH: So my device data wasn’t saved?

IP: Seriously, seriously stop.

GH: But I’m really worried-

IP: Stop. Stop lying. You’re not worried at all, right?

GH: I am. So you’re saying my picture wasn’t taken?

IP: No, it wasn’t. And even if it was, so what? You got something to feel guilty about? Your picture wasn’t taken. Would it have been fun for you if it had been? Instead of making prank calls, you should get a job.

GH: Thank you for the advice.

IP: Seriously. Get a job.

GH: I’m actually calling you before I go to the office.

IP: What kind of job do you do? What…just what the hell kind of work do you do?

▼ Why does nobody ever believe RocketNews24 reporters are actually working?

GH: So, my picture wasn’t taken?

IP: No, it wasn’t. Quit bothering me. Why do you keep calling? We don’t need your smartphone information. Your phone calls are scaring me. Your calls are scaring me.

And for the third time, the Internet Patrol employee hung up on Go. But Go felt bad about leaving things on such an uncordial note, so he called back just one more time.

He felt just a twinge of sadness, though, when he heard a different Internet Patrol employee answer the phone instead of the familiar voice he’d been expecting. On the plus side, this employee was far more polite and patient, and after a few half-hearted attempts at giving Go the runaround, began providing far more concrete answers.

GH: I heard a shutter sound, so I was worried that a picture was taken.

Internet Patrol employee 2: No, we don’t do anything like that. The site just makes a noise so that it’s easier to know that the user registration is complete.

GH: Oh, I see. So when it says my device data has been stored, the photos and other things I have saved on my phone, are they-

IP2: No, we can’t see any of that. Your personal information, we can’t access anything private data like that.

GH: And no picture of me was taken?

IP2: No, not at all. We don’t have that sort of capability.

GH: Ah, that’s good to know. I feel a lot better now.

IP2: So, if you’re not planning on watching any of our site’s videos…we’ll…delete your registration. Is…is that OK with you?…If you don’t watch anything, there are no charges, but there will be if you do.

GH: I’m not planning on watching any.

IP2: In that case, we’ll delete your registration. Is that OK?

GH: I didn’t register.

IP2: Actually, you are registered. We’re sorry about that. But there are no charges just for registering,

GH: I see.

IP2: So, if you don’t have any future plans to watch our videos, we could keep our costs down if you’d let us delete your registration.

GH: Ah, I see. Well, in any case, my picture hasn’t been taken, and my personal information hasn’t been leaked, right?

IP: Yes, that’s correct.

GH: Thank you.

IP: Excuse me.

Thus ended Go’s battle with the attempted scammers, with our reporter coming away no charges to pay, an admission that the site was bluffing on its scary attempts to solicit payment, and even an apology of sorts. While we’re always happy to see Go go toe-to-toe with Internet villains, we don’t recommend copying his methods, since in the modern era of caller ID dialing up some con artists gives them your phone number.

And while we’re on the subject of things we recommend not doing, we’d also say that messing with Go, or his friends’ kids, online is a bad, bad idea.

Images ©RocketNews24

一年一度吐槽春晚的时刻又要到了！在此之前让我们来回顾一下这些年春晚带来的“流行”，有多少桥段是你念念不忘的，有哪些桥段是引领时代潮流的……

Over 70 years of Disney animation inspires gorgeous designs.

In Japan, the custom on Valentine’s Day is for women to give chocolate to men. While many of these gifts are now given to coworkers or classmates, Valentine’s Day still retains a romantic atmosphere, so in addition to handing out “obligation chocolate” to their platonic acquaintances, many Japanese women take the opportunity presented by February 14 to reveal their feelings to the object of their genuine romantic affection.

Because of that, Japanese manicurist and nail artist Naomi Kabashima found herself thinking of what she could do to give her customers a special look for the big day. She considered offering nail art that looked like chocolates, but in the end decided to go in a different, though no less eye-catchingly girlish way with 12 different nail art options inspired by Disney princesses.

よう作ったな。母さん。 https://t.co/7tJ74xBpvY

—
樺島 一真 (@kazuma1028_k) February 01, 2017

The clever designs got the Internet’s attention when they were shared by Kabashima’s son Kazuma, who tweeted them along with the comment “Nice work, Mom.”

The creations span 76 years of Disney royal lineage, from 1937’s Snow White to Frozen sisters Anna and Elsa, who burst onto the scene in 2013. Aside from employing each character’s image colors, the designs make use of other visual motifs associated with each character, such as seashells for The Little Mermaid’s Ariel, ice crystals for Elsa, and the flowers and ribbons used as trim in the dresses worn by Beauty and the Beast’s Belle and Tangled’s Rapunzel.

And since some Disney fans find themselves drawn to the darker side of the collected casts of the studio’s films, Naomi also has nail art options for Tangled antagonist Mother Gothel, and as well a set shared by shape-shifting Maleficent and sea witch Ursula, plus another split between fashionista Cruella de Vil and Alice in Wonderland’s maniacally blood-thirsty Queen of Hearts.

The nail artist herself also shared a snapshot on Twitter, though it didn’t garner quite as much attention as the one from her son’s account.

2月はバレンタインDAY💕チョコネイルも🍫可愛いけどせっかくなら人と違ったプリンセスネイルで気持ち上げて告白なんてのはいかがでしょう💖女子力⤴️upでいざ出陣✨💕 #ネイル #バレンタインネイル #プリンセスネイル… http://twitter.com/i/web/status/8…

—
樺島 奈緒美 (@naonaokaba) February 01, 2017

However, while Naomi has tons of talent and creativity, she doesn’t own her own salon, and instead provides beauty services to customers who come to her home in the city of Fukuoka’s Minami Ward. “If you come by, she can do your nails like this for about 3,000 yen [US$26],” Kazuma says, which sounds like a bargain to us.

Source: Twitter/@kazuma1028_k
Top image: Twitter/@naonaokaba

The global coffeehouse chain gives us a taste of spring with two new beverages and a drinkware range containing over thirty cherry blossom-themed items.

Starbucks has been known to delight customers in Japan throughout the seasons with a number of tasty and creative Frappuccino releases, but there’s one very special limited-edition range that everyone scrambles to get their hands on every year.

It’s the annual sakura line of beverages and drinkware, and this year’s offering looks just as gorgeous and delicious as any we’ve ever seen! The new spring range, which goes on sale from 15 February, kicks off with a set of brightly coloured drinkware they’re calling the “Harmony Collection”. The items in this lineup include floral-themed store cards, as well as cherry blossom tumblers, glasses and travel mugs which range in price from 1,500 yen to 4,400 yen (US$13.30 – $39.03).

On 1 March, the “Purity” collection will appear on shelves, featuring store cards and drinkware in a more subdued colour palette. Items will range in price from 1,700 yen for the tumbler (pictured third from the right in the back row of the photo below), through to 4,500 yen for the white stainless steel bottle (pictured second from the right in the back row).

The two new beverages coming to menus from 15 February are the Sakura Blossom Cream Latte (430-550 yen) and the Sakura Blossom Cream Frappuccino with Crispy Swirl (570-650 yen). Both drinks feature a milk sauce made from a mix of white bean jam, condensed milk, and sakura blossoms and leaves.

The topping includes pink flakes of shaved chocolate to resemble cherry blossom petals, and pink balls made from roasted mochi rice to add a delightfully crunchy texture to the hot and cold beverages. Finished off with a maple sauce-flavoured whipped cream, these new dessert drinks are said to combine western and Japanese flavours in beautiful harmony.

In addition to the new beverages and drinkware sets, Starbucks will also be offering customers 40 different sakura-themed digital frames to dress up their snapshots. Two sets of designs will be rolled out, with the first lot available from 15-28 February, and the second instalment available from 1-14 March.

Sakura season at Starbucks is almost as short as the real cherry blossom period in Japan itself, so be sure to stop by from 15 February to get your hands on one of these popular limited-edition items. The drinks will only be on sale until 14 March, after which they’ll be gone, like the beautiful blossoms themselves, until next year.

Source: Net Lab
Featured image: Starbucks Japan
Insert images: Starbucks Japan

Handmade leather accessories are specially designed for Japan’s greatest, healthiest convenience store snack.

One of the greatest things about Japanese convenience stores is how they’re always stocked with delicious onigiri. While onigiri is uaually translated as “rice ball,” the palm-sized collections of rice, filling, and seaweed are often triangular in shape.

Priced at around 120 yen (just a little over US$1), onigiri are a quick, affordable, and nutritious snack or on-the-go meal component. And now, thanks to Japanese leather goods maker Arataya, onigiri aren’t just part of a healthy diet, but part of a fashionable appearance as well.

Arataya is now offering leather onigiri holders. Held closed by a metal snap, the open-ended holsters allow you to carry your triangular onigiri in a stylish way, protecting it from getting smushed while still letting the corners maintain their crisp angles.

Each holder is handmade, and sized to perfectly fit the standard-sized onigiri sold at convenience stores and supermarkets across Japan. Priced at 4,200 yen (US$36), each is equipped with a buckle to let you clip the holder to a backpack for easy access when hiking through the wilderness or exploring the concrete jungles of Japan’s major metropolises.

The onigiri holders can be purchased through online creative retailer Creema, and are available in tan, black, and striped versions.

Oh, and if you’re wondering how you’re supposed to get your onigiri out of its plastic wrapping once you remove it from your slick leather holder, we’ve can show you right here.

Source: Japaaan
Top image: Creema
Insert images: RocketNews24, Creema (1, 2, 3)

短发妹子令其响彻！

Can you have too much of a good thing?

Growing up in America, I thought I didn’t like rice. The long grain variety we largely consume is bland and starchy and not all that appealing. Then I came to Japan and realized that I LOVE rice!

The rice here is plump, sweet and delicious and comes in a dizzying variety of types and dishes. Every locale seems to have its own special brand of rice and then there’s the question of how much to mill it and how best to prepare it. Far from a bland staple, it’s the complex and culturally significant glue that holds traditional Japanese cuisine together.

Having said that though, I’m more than satisfied with one bowl of rice per meal, unlike Twitterer @hane_hiyo, who decided to make an entire meal of rice dishes.

晩御飯が全米で泣いた https://t.co/5D4LQKg0uR

—
大道芸人ヒヨコ@11/23蒸気グンマー (@hane_hiyo) January 23, 2017

That’s a lot of white rice, folks. Let’s break it down a bit.

From the top left, clockwise, we have a salted rice ball, rice porridge, vinegared rice, mochi rice, rice in water for a “soup”, white rice as the main dish, and, for the coup de grace, uncooked rice for chopstick practice.

This passion for the national food seems to have struck a chord with other Japanese Internet users. At the time of writing, the picture has been retweeted nearly 16,000 times and was picked up by several Japanese language media outlets. While many commentators expressed surprise over @hane-hiyo’s, um, single-minded gustatory choices, many others thought the meal looked quite tempting.

He responded, “For people like me who eat three bowls of rice with a meal, I have made the perfect meal to surround yourself with the deliciousness of rice.”

That’s back-to-basics cooking at its purest. We’re just hoping the menu the following day was high in fiber.

Photos: Twitter/@hane-hiyo