Men Confess Their Most Embarrassing Sex Stories And You'll “Yikes” So Hard
Ah, sex. The most mind-blowing activity with probably the second highest potential for utter embarrassment. (The highest potential for utter embarrassment goes to my entire existence.)
While sex can be sensual, fun, and erotic, the stakes are also incredibly high. One wrong move, and sh*t can hit the fan REALLY quick.
But do we shy away from ~the sex~ in the face of potential cringe-y moments, fam? NO, OF COURSE NOT.
Instead, we power through the embarrassing moments like true champions, suffer through a period of self-loathing (whether it's an hour or 12 years… what?), and then laugh about it to keep from crying.
In a recent Reddit thread, men were asked to dish on their most embarrassing sex mishaps, and you will literally “yikes” so hard.
If you were feeling like you're the only one with embarrassing sex stories… think again.
This guy was a little too eager.
Was hanging out with a female friend and things started getting a little sexual, we move to the bedroom and she starts sucking me off. Now keep in mind this is the hottest girl I've ever had sex with, so when I stuck it in her pussy I came immediately……..She said it was nice.
This guy's wet dreams got him into a pretty “sticky” situation.
Happened over 30 years ago. I was traveling up the east coast to head to NYC for a few weeks. On the way we stopped in D.C. where we were going to crash at a friend's girlfriend's dorm. I had never met her before, but my buddy who was not with us said she would be glad to host us for a night.
I was trying to sleep on the dorm room floor and my buddy's GF told me to stop being an ass and sleep in the bed with her. I finally relented and took the spot next to the cinder block wall.
This is not what you think. I had no debauchery plans and was trying not to make contact with her all night long.
I woke up around 4am – wet and sticky. Yeah, I had jizzed in my boxers, and it was a LOT. To this day I have no idea if she "helped" me, or if it was just 20-year old nocturnal emissions, but I had a fucking big problem on my hands.
I climbed over her as quickly and nimbly as possible, grabbed my bag and hit the bathroom. I cleaned myself up as best I could and put on another pair of boxers – unfortunately not the same color as the ones I had been wearing.
I think I got away with it as no one ever said anything other than her roommate's raised eyebrows at my mysterious loungewear change. I can still remember that hot flash followed by sinking feeling when I woke up and realized I had a mess in mah shortz.
I can only guess she flipped her shit after we left and she found the big dried spooge-stain on her sheets. To giver her credit though, she never ratted on me.
A girl deep-throating this guy wasn't as hot as he thought it would be.
Was getting a beej on my birthday while we were both kinda drunk. She was goin' at me for a while and I knew that she was capable of deepthroating, but I think she trusted herself too much and ended up puking all over me and the couch we were on.
This guy's mom has the worst timing.
I was about 19 at the time and my then gf and I were going at it in my room. All of a sudden KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on my door. Shit it's my mom. Usually we can hear her coming up the stairs but she apparently was part ninja that day. "Emmalyn can you come look at this dress I bought and tell me what you think?" Fuck we gotta MOVE.
So I'm trying to get my clothes on and unfortunately, my girlfriend was a big drama department student so she could change like the flash. She finished getting dressed by the time I was just starting to put my pants on.
In sheer panic because of the amount of time we were taking to open the door, she runs to open the door. I whisper "No don't you fuckin do it!" and she opens the door, so I run behind the door with my pants halfway up my legs.
I'm standing there as silently as possible, watching through the crack by the hinges and hoping to god I'm not noticed. Slowly but surely, my mother fades into view in the crack of the door, makes eye contact with me, and then slowly goes back out of view.
She never said anything of the incident which was nice of her for sure.
This guy… is… just… you know, I don't really know what to say about it. Just read it.
I like to fetishize my very skinny body and tease my girlfriend how I am not fed enough so once before the fucking night she said that I must eat quite a lot if I want her pussy, she prepared the food. I was tied on my knees on the rug and she mercilessly edged me for few hours, lots of dirty talk, riding, stimulation of my neck and earlobe, I couldn't contain myself from farting and totally bawling my mouth and even kinda crying (or just tears) . She smirked and laughed all the way (but not in a humiliating way but rather "you're so cute") which made it hotter. She made me shoot biggest load across the room and then proceeded to tease me humiliatingly about it and kiss and cuddle.
This guy came a liiiiiiiiittle too soon (and by a little, I mean a lot).
- First time w/this girl I came as she was unbuttoning my jeans
- Housemate's bf walked in on me doing a cam show
- Former fb got me totally hard and made me get up and refill her tea at a Subway (with a line of customers)
- Shot my load on a woman stripping at a party (her friend was jerking me off at the time and she got down on her knees and said she wanted it). Was "in the moment" as they say, but afterwards was pretty awkward figuring out how best to leave since I was done stripping anyway
This guy had a minor freak out with his first girlfriend.
When I was first experiencing sex, with my first gf, I remember I came during dry humping. I remember feeling myself down there. Absentmindedly, I started fingering her with cum still on my fingers.
We freaked the fuck out and she took the morning after pill the next day.
The cops showed up without an invite on this guy.
I've had a cop come to my parked car recently while we were getting it on. Fuck those guys.
This guy didn't realize squirting is, like, a really normal thing that happens.
In my more inexperienced days, a chick was riding me like crazy as I thrusted my hips onto her. We had found the perfect rhythm and it was truly some mind-blowing sex. Well, it was so good she came and squirted all over my dick and balls. Mind you, I had no idea beforehand that was a thing.
I threw her off of me and cleaned myself off trying to be nonchalant af. Yeah we never fucked after that again. Unfortunately.
I'm okay with squirting now. In fact, I think it's sexy af. But before then my mind was "Eww female pee get if off of me!"
Whiskey d*ck gets the best of this guy sometimes.
Yeah, my embarrassing moments have mostly revolved around whiskey dick.
Doesn't matter how fucking hot a girl is, or how turned on you are. Sometime that fucker just won't do what it's told.
This guy definitely should've been cut some slack…
Got yelled at during the foreplay of a threesome for not being erect yet.
I wouldn't even think about getting mad at a woman for not being wet…
This guy got laughed at by his sex partner.
was super stressed with a girl who was driving me a bit nuts with her behavior. she had issues with her sexuality (couldn't "finish", couldn't accept her body). unfortunately, I had some confidence issues of my own. we finally fucked and all was going fine, I was having a nice time, she was into it as far as I could tell. all of a sudden, she goes "you're not enjoying it!", gives me a look of accusation and stops. this left me quite weirded out, I was blaming myself for not being good enough, etc. next time we had sex, the pressure of her doing it got to me, I was just sooo stressed that I might fuck something up now, that I couldn't stay hard at one point. she laughed out as she felt that I couldn't maintain an erection at that time. the sound of that laugh still haunts me, I wished I would disappear forever.
luckily, I have a FWB now who enjoys sex and is into me and our time together, so I'm slowly regaining my confidence again.
A lot of this guy's sexual experiences were a bit “tainted.” (I'm sorry.)
I have a couple.
When I was in high school, my girlfriend's parents were very strict and religious. It made getting away to have sex a bit of a challenge. Naturally, that lead to a lot of car sex. One time, somebody called the cops on us. Luckily, we didn't get in any trouble, but they did ask her if I was raping her.
Another time with the same girl, I got those Trojan extended pleasure condoms. Basically, they numb your dick. We're going at it for probably an hour in a parking lot by one of those standalone drive up atms. Out of nowhere, there's this lady yelling at us from the building. I never knew there were people in there.
We got walked in on a couple times too. One time I was fucking her at work in a secluded area. A guy walked in, saw us and turned right around. Another time, I was having band practice at my house, went upstairs and was eating her out. The guitarist and bassist walked into my room and my face was covered in her juice. My buddy still refers to her as "jello"
One time I was having sex with my wife in the spooning position. We were going at it pretty good. She was alluding to moving it to some back door action. I got excited, pulled out too far and jammed my dick on her taint. We both were in immense pain. Needless to say, that put an end to the activities for the evening.
This guy had the sh*ttiest time… literally.
Fuck it. Not even going to use a throwaway. I was on holiday in Thailand and had just come back from a your of the North and returned back to the hostel in chiang Mai.
At the hostel drinking games are occuring and one by one people are filtering to bed as it gets later. Eventually, it just me and this smoking hot Irish blonde sitting across from me.
One thing leads to another, and we head upstairs. We couldn't use either room as both of our friends were sleeping so we decide to use the shower. Things get wet and steamy and I'm giving it to her from behind as she's bent over holding on to the shower head and as she's about to come. She shits herself. Hot brown slime shoots up from my dick all the way up to my nipples.
TLDR: Got shat on in a shower in Thailand
This guy had a pretty unexpected guest… but it was still chill, I guess?
Had an ex's mother walk in on her daughter giving me a blowjob. She had a clear view of my dick and the activity that her daughter was performing. Was a pretty good birthday, got my candle blown out.
This guy didn't realize he had an audience.
I once had car sex in the parking lot of an old job and halfway through it we realized there was a homeless guy off in a corner about 30 ft. away who was just standing there staring at us.
OK, so what have we learned everyone?
Well, I'm not sure exactly, but I think it's something along the lines of car sex or sex at your parents' house being a prime target for embarrassing moments.
Subscribe to Elite Daily's official newsletter, The Edge, for more stories you don't want to miss.
Men Confess Their Most Embarrassing Sex Stories And You'll “Yikes” So Hard
Credit: Dating – Elite Daily
0 comments: