People Reveal The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Done Because They Were Too Turned On
One night, a guy I was dating booty called me at 6 a.m. We hadn't had sex in days, and I was excited to hear his voice, so my horny self was like, “Sure!” I took a $30 cab to his place in Brooklyn, pumped to get laid — only for him to fall asleep the second I got to his apartment. While outside, I spent an hour screaming his name, banging on his front door, and nearly breaking into his apartment to wake him up, but to no avail. It's one of those funny sex stories that I'm sure my friends will embarrass me with by telling at my wedding. Seriously, who in their right mind would answer a booty call at 6 in the morning, take a 45-minute cab ride to said booty call, and then spend that long outside someone's apartment trying to wake them up? A thirsty b*tch, that's who.
Men and women of Reddit are very familiar with the feeling that comes with doing something dumb because you were too horny. And maybe you haven't spent $60 on cabs or answered a booty call at dawn (oops), but we're all human, and we've all acted stupidly in the name of wanting to get laid. Here, 13 brave men and women share their stories.
This girl simply could not wait.
Masturbated during a car trip on the way home from the airport, rubbing my clit under my jacket as everyone else, save for my dad who was driving, was asleep.
Came at least twice during the trip home, slept like a fucking rock.
This guy nearly died.
I went out with a nurse who kept slipping me halves of Quaaludes. We were at a club and also drinking beer, and by the time the Quaaludes hit it was too late to do anything about it. I was lucky I didn't die.
This guy nearly got a girl pregnant.
Hit up my ex and raw dogged her in the back of her jeep. Came inside of her. Really shameful nervous 2 weeks after that.
This guy was resourceful.
Let's see.. When i was younger i decided to cut a finger off of a rubber glove, the thick yellow tyoe and attempted to use it as a condom while thrusying into a plastic walmart bag filled with lotion. This year it has to be spending over 1k on camgirls over a time period of 3 months.
So was this guy.
Tried to fuck a Gatorade bottle. Tried.
And this girl.
Used a carrot as a dildo because I needed that dick feel and then used a pen to stimulate my clit
This guy sent a nude to the very wrong person.
Sent my landlord a nude (by accident).
Guy had a secret Grindr account that I didn't know was him. It had a tantalizing name and in the heat of the moment I sent a nude.
I apologized and laughed it off to the ire of my roommates. The landlord didn't mind.
This guy almost got into an accident.
masturbated while driving a stick shift.
This girl was just following the terms of agreement.
Told a dude I loved him after a few weeks because he said he wouldn't bone unless it was "true love." Stupid, dick move. I know. I regret it. I was young. But seriously after a few weeks?! Love? No sex until that?
This girl almost mutilated her vagina.
I decided it was a good idea to use a handmixer to masturbate. It had hooks for kneading dough, and it pierced one of my labia's. So close to having my ladybits mutilated…. I only have a minor scar though, childbirth did a lot more damage in the pleasure department. Edit: Spelling. Also, that was the night I decided I should buy a vibrator.
This guy followed a late-night impulse.
Messaged some girls that I graduated with back in 2015 asking them out. Very recently, too. It's like one of those late at night things that seem like an amazing idea until you wake up and realize that that is not at all a good idea. It started with a couple, rose to about 10 in a couple months. It's pretty pathetic and also shameful looking back now just seeming like another thirsty guy. Never told anybody this before, you can probably see why.
I've stopped (for good lol), now if I feel like that I delete and block. Out of sight out of mind.
Cringe
This guy was brave AF.
In middle school, fingered a girl in back seat as her parents drove. I'm positive they knew.
And this guy got… political.
Fucked a Nazi girl. She stripped down and had a giant fucking swastika tattooed on her back. Stared right at that fucking thing the whole time. Was protectionless, blew my load in her, and then whispered I was of jewish decent.
She went from post-sex stupid to rage in 0.0 seconds flat.
Hopefully these stories will make you feel less crazy if you've ever been in the same boat.
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People Reveal The Dumbest Thing They've Ever Done Because They Were Too Turned On
Credit: Dating – Elite Daily
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