Twentythree

She “cheated on me.” He “cheated on me.”

At first thought, it’s super clear cut. It’s black and white. The person slept with someone else, right? But anyone who’s had to endure the emotional rollercoaster that was Ross and Rachel’s break up after the whole “we were on a break” debacle on “Friends” knows for a fact that it really is not that simple.

There are so many other factors that play into whether or not you cheated, and so many different ways you can cheat. There’s emotional and physical, but even within those two categories there are so many little things that could set your partner off.

Do you still talk to your ex all the time? Did you kiss someone while you were drunk? Did you buy a drink for another girl? Have you been flirting with someone else over text?

So we decided to find out: How do people define cheating?

We asked 100 men and women, aged 18 – 31, to rate a series of shady actions, ranging from liking someone else’s Facebook profile picture to soberly having sex with someone else, as either “definitely cheating,” “somewhat cheating” or “not cheating.”

And here we have the results for you.

What constitutes as “definitely cheating”?

The top responses for what was definitely cheating were, for the most part, pretty obvious. The LARGE majority of respondents agreed that any physical sexual interaction with another person is definitely cheating. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re drunk or sober.

In the least shocking news, the vast majority of our respondents (99 percent) agreed that soberly having sex with another person is definitely cheating. Drunkenly having sex wasn’t much better, as 97 percent of respondents agreed that was also, without a doubt, cheating.

But what if it was just a friendly little make out? Well, according to 97 percent of our respondents, a sober make out definitely still makes you a cheater. A drunk make out might cut you some more slack with your SO… but not much: 77 percent still agreed that a drunken make out is definitely cheating.

Sucks to suck (face). Haha, get it?

Would you leave your partner for definitely cheating?

A whopping 86 percent of our respondents agreed that, yes, they would leave their partners for definitely cheating on them.

Most people who provided us with explanations for this decision said something along the lines of this 23-year-old man, who said:

Once I know they definitely cheated, there will always be a sense of insecurity and mistrust.

Basically, most people agreed that once they’ve been cheated on, a sense of trust has been broken and just couldn’t be rebuilt. So, if you want to stay with your partner, here’s a good tip: Don’t cheat.

What constitutes as “somewhat cheating”?

We included a “somewhat cheating” column for our respondents to define those things that weren’t quite black and white, but were definitely a little wrong. I like to think of “somewhat cheating” as just being shady.

So what did our respondents consider somewhat cheating?

Flirting with another person over text ranked as the most shady, with 75 percent of our respondents agreeing that is somewhat cheating. Your SO regularly hanging out with another person he or she has feelings for followed closely, with 62 percent of respondents considering this somewhat cheating. Finally, 61 percent of our respondents agreed that your SO having those feelings in the first place (even if they don’t necessarily act on them) is somewhat cheating.

Would you leave your partner for somewhat cheating?

Turns out, falling into the grey area of “somewhat cheating” also leaves your partner in a grey area on whether or not they’re going to leave you. The large majority (69 percent) of our respondents agreed that they would maybe leave their partners for somewhat cheating on them.

When explaining their answers, most people echoed the sentiments of this 23-year-old woman, who said:

It depends on how they would act about it when I brought it up. If they get super defensive or make me out to be the one in the wrong, I would probably leave them. If they are apologetic and understand why I think it’s cheating, I would stay with them.

Basically, everyone agreed with this sentiment that whether or not they would leave their partners depended largely on how their partner reacted.

What constitutes as “not cheating”?

So what is just absolutely not cheating at all as far as our respondents were concerned? Actually, a lot of things. But let me give you the top three things for you to tell bae to STFU about the next time you’re fighting.

First and foremost, 99 percent of our respondents agreed that liking any sort of picture on social media (Facebook or Instagram) is just blatantly not cheating. This was closely followed by wearing something an ex got you. So if you love that dress your high school boyfriend got you, 94 percent of our respondents agreed that you could wear it without a worry in the world.

Finally, a very close (93 percent) third place went to watching porn. So if that’s what you’re into, carry on with your bad self.

All of this being said, obviously, what’s cheating and what’s not will vary from relationship to relationship. You might want to check with your SO on what he or she thinks about these things before you go ahead and like every hottie’s profile picture while you’re wearing the dress your ex bought you and having some porn opened up in an internet browser tab.

100 People Reveal What Actions Are Considered Cheating In A Relationship

There’s no rulebook or strategy when it comes to dating someone and knowing the right time to finally pop the question and seal the deal with them.

You could date for three months before getting a burn in your stomach that lets you know to hold onto this person because they are the best you’re ever going to get. You could date for six years and feel too chill about making any sudden move to promise them a lifetime together forever.

Since there’s no right time, right place or right moment in a relationship for a boyfriend to ask his SO if they are in it to win it, how do you know when to do it?

Some guys don’t. Instead, some boyfriends in long-term relationships don’t have the urge to pop any question except, “where do you want to eat for dinner tonight?”

If you’re wondering why that could be, check out what these 10 guys confess are the reasons why they haven’t asked their long-term girlfriends to marry them.

1. I’m not really ready.

I’ve been with my girl for four years now. It seems like a really long time. It is. But I’m not sure I’m ready to get married right now and take things to the next level. We are both only 24 so it’s weird to me that we’d be married before we could even rent a car.

— Brendon W., 24

2. Why complicate things?

I’ve seen what marriage does to relationships. All my friends from college got married in their twenties. They all found such sweet girls and then when they got married to them, everything got stale and lame. Marriage made things harder for them. I love my girlfriend. We’ve been together since 2007, which is a long time and everything, but I just don’t want to ruin the good stuff we have with marriage like they did.

— John F., 35

3. The perfect moment will come.

I want to get married but I haven’t figured out how to propose. I want that moment to be perfect. I want it to be in a way that she wants. But every time I get close to setting a date to do it and planning how I am going to do it, I freak out and decide to procrastinate. That’s what it is. I’m procrastinating because I’m a little nervous I’ll screw the whole thing up.

— Matty J., 28

4. I don’t have time or money.

Weddings are expensive and take up so much time to put together. It’s like we’ve already lived together for over three years now and we’re just trying to work hard at our own careers that we, or I at least, feel like a wedding right now would just be such a stressor on ourselves and our bank accounts.

— Kyle P., 29

5. I’m kind of keeping my options open.

I’ve been in a long relationship with my girlfriend for close to three years now. I love her, don’t get me wrong. But a part of me, a very small part, is kind of keeping my options open. Like, I don’t know for sure if she’s the one and I don’t want to get a divorce later on. If, in a few years from now, I’m 100 percent sure she’s the girl forever, I’ll make it official.

— Scott B., 26

6. She’s not into the idea of marriage.

It’s weird with us because I’m all about getting married but my girlfriend is not about that at all. She’s pretty beat up from her parent’s recent divorce, so about a year into our relationship she made it clear that marriage is not on her cards and that I shouldn’t even bother proposing.

— Vinny N., 25

7. IDK, I haven’t thought about it.

Everyone asks me this question about when I’m going to propose. The truth is, I don’t know. I never think about it. I just like being girlfriend/boyfriend. Maybe if she tries to break up with me or give me a marriage ultimatum, I’ll propose. But until then, it just doesn’t cross my mind ever, unless someone asks.

— Tom S., 27

8. We’re still in an LDR.

We’ve been dating for four years but three of those years have been her living in Toronto and me living in California. I don’t see marriage in our cards until we at least live in the same country.

— Gregg L., 28

9. None of my bros are married.

I know a lot of people in the South rush into marriage in their early twenties but my friends and I are all in our late twenties and from New Jersey. None of us are married. I’m the only one with a long-term girlfriend. It’s just not something we’re looking to do in our twenties. Maybe it’s something I’ll think seriously about when I’m in my thirties.

— Brett H., 28

10. I don’t see the point.

Why does marriage make a relationship official? I’ve been with my girlfriend for six years and I’ve been living with her for four. We have a great relationship and we both don’t see the point in getting married because we know nothing will change.

— Landon B., 32

These Are The Real Reasons Your Long-Term Boyfriend Hasn’t Proposed Yet

As women, we are deemed to follow the social norms of being a lady: being home-oriented, keeping our appetites small and our legs closed.

It’s time to throw away those gender-biased stereotypes. We are human. We have desires. We are not the delicate flowers society has integrated in our generation’s past. The conventional theories as to how women are “supposed” to behave are now nothing other than stories told around a campfire.

Men share the common misconception that they are the only gender that thinks about sex. Many women who haven’t embraced their sensuality yet have the tendency of agreeing with them. But women are as equally aroused as men; we’re just better at hiding it. This is due to being brought up under the obligations of maintaining our composure as ladies.

Fuck the double standards. When did keeping our legs closed sound more appealing than enjoying the pleasure frequent sex can bring?

If sexuality — a basic human foundation — was supposed to be kept secretly behind closed doors, there would be no aphrodisiacs like food, another aspect to the human foundation that stimulates sexual desire or excitement.

And if you’re a guiltless foodie, endless opportunities in the bedroom await you.

Being a foodie — a person with a particular interest in food — is now praised by Gen-Yers. The fact that any gender is capable of satisfying their cravings, guilt-free, sheds light on a new perspective. So what is the link between food and sex? They share a common denominator: the cathartic pleasure we get from indulging in them.

The science behind our cravings for this pleasure all comes down to how much dopamine we’re exposed to. While certain chemicals in our brain lead us to feel good after we’ve consumed a stimulus, dopamine poses the opposite reaction when we haven’t consumed one. It awakens a thirst we need to quench. The area of our brain that attracts us to chocolate is the same area responsible for libido (the sexual attraction we feel).

Food and sex come hand-in-hand. As a matter of fact, food is the ultimate foreplay. The sexual connotation behind the act of sharing a meal with someone is derived from chewing, licking fingers and groaning because that bite was so damn good. After having aroused your sexual appetite throughout the meal from sucking on the bones to the slurping of the wine, the only thought consuming your mind becomes devouring the other person’s body.

Your eyes wander and lock onto the other person’s mouth. You watch as they lift their spoon and bite into their desert, moaning softly, as there is no other way to describe that tiramisu as anything other than orgasmic. That’s where food transitions into the ideal metaphor for sex. How else can you please someone so profoundly by putting something inside of them?

The thoughts of sex and food begin developing in your mind, and you aren’t sure why you can’t wait to incorporate food in the bedroom. It’s the epitome of discovering a new nuance in familiar territory. Soon, your mouthwatering desires for food become parallel to your sexual desires.

How can you turn up the heat in the sheets with titillating taste sensations? Your mind begins tracing back to the most common foods used in foreplay: spreading whipped cream on your partner’s body, pouring melted chocolate across their skin, wrapping your lips around and biting into those plump strawberries.

This is the subliminal reason as to why dinner dates are so popular. Sometimes dinner is just dinner. However, since almost everyone has a strong affiliation to sex, sometimes dinner is not just dinner. Sometimes, dinner turns into the sexiest form of foreplay.

Now, you have been welcomed into the tangled relationship between food and sex. Regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman, don’t hold back in relishing in the glorious pair.

Why Having Dinner With Your Partner Is The Best Form Of Foreplay

Given the choice between a sleek, expensive Ferrari and a well-designed bra, I’d choose lingerie every time. Anyone can make a car (scoff if you will), but supporting breasts is an art form. The cup has to fit just right, the underwire brushing my ribs without stabbing into my sternum or floating away under my cleavage like a lost astronaut in a space thriller.

Ribbons, bells and whistles are all well and good — I’d get “never say no to lace” tattooed on my bicep if I didn’t think it would make job interviews weird — but the quality has to be there too. I’m the first person to admit dropping $100 or more is worthwhile, if it’s the right brassiere.

But, in the age of activewear and sweatpants you can actually wear to the office like real pants because they’re relabeled “joggers,” natural is best.

Gone are the days of perfectly circular breasts on models, replaced by Photoshop-free, body-friendly campaigns like American Eagle’s #aerieREAL. Ten years ago, we wanted to look like Paris Hilton. Today, Karlie Kloss in a top-knot and T-shirt is the dream.

Most of us are increasingly comfortable in our own skin, but one brand in particular is suffering: that old mall staple store, Victoria’s Secret (VS).

Teenagers just aren’t begging their frazzled mothers to buy the Dream Guardian Angel Boobs XXL (Adds 15 Cup Sizes!) like they used to. In an attempt to stay hip to trends, the Wall Street Journal reports the brand has invested in more naturalistic offerings like bralettes and sports bras.

Because these products come without the cushioning, satin and heavily-scented glitter body lotion of previous VS products, they’re less than half the price of traditional bras — an athletic style called “The Player” starts at just $15. That just doesn’t add up to the same revenue made on pricey lingerie, no matter how many styles customers greedily stuff in their shopping bags.

Furthermore, the Journal attributes the fall of Victoria’s Secret to its advertising campaigns.

Surely, you remember the mail-only catalogs that sustained high school teenagers with poor self-esteem and acne? Bronzed, boob-alicious women on tropical beaches, 12 pounds of hair extensions on each. Except, back then, I’m pretty sure I thought that was all real hair and they were just far more genetically blessed than I.

In September, Spanx alum Jan Singer will take over as VS CEO. The company seems to believe her ten years of experience in making the female body look and feel its best is the right direction to take.

As for me, I’ll take my expensive bra-buying elsewhere.

Your Sports Bra Obsession Is Going To Put Victoria’s Secret Out Of Business

Imagine being in love with your best friend’s boyfriend.

If you’re anything like me and my best friends, the thought kind of creeps you out. It’s like being in love with a brother.

But the fact of the matter is that your best friend’s significant other isn’t, in fact, your sibling and the possibility of you falling for him or her is a very real thing. And you can’t even help it! The heart wants what the heart wants, right?

I just can’t imagine anything worse. I mean think about it, the torture of being in love with someone you regularly see, who is completely unattainable, coupled with the guilt that your love for this person is so incredibly wrong and disloyal to your best friend in the whole wide world, the person who’s the most loyal to you. It sounds like a total nightmare.

Here 19 people talk about living that nightmare from firsthand experience.

1. I could treat him so much better.

2. It breaks my heart every time I think about it.

3. I hate myself for it.

4. I’m beyond frustrated.

5. I’m tired of losing girls to him.

6. We hooked up before they were dating.

7. Given the opportunity to sleep with her, I would do it.

8. I liked him before she did.

9. I think it’s time for me to stop hanging out with them.

10. I’d rather be alone than lose my best friend over a girl.

11. I’m trying to push my feelings away.

12. They both know how I feel.

13. I don’t want to ruin their relationship.

14. I really do try to be happy for them.

15. I don’t know how to tell her.

16. I don’t think she minds it.

17. I would end our friendship if it meant I could be with her.

18. I’m scared of what she’ll think when she finds out.

19. It still hurts.

For more sex confessions, check out Whisper.

19 People Confess They’re In Love With Their Best Friend’s SO

Have your pet feeling rejuvenated both physically and spiritually after a getaway in Japan.

Pets in Japan are known to be amongst the most pampered in the world. From cosy four-wheeled strollers to elaborate kimonos and photo shoots, there’s nothing a pet can’t wish for here, and when it comes to fancy holidays and exorcisms, it now appears they can get that too.

▼ The D+KIRISHIMA inn in Kyushu is making canine dreams come true, and attracting attention from around the country, by offering spa baths, formal kaiseki meals and a ceremonial exorcism to pooches in a unique package they’re calling the “Pet Dog Exorcism Plan”.

While services for pets and their owners are continuing to pop up around the country, this particular plan is believed to be the first of its kind to offer exorcisms to dogs. The ceremonial cleansing is designed to rid pups of bad spirits while praying for their future health, and is said to be particularly useful for dogs in their “unlucky health years”. While Yakudoshi, a set of “unlucky” ages in Japan, are commonly believed to affect humans, many Japanese are surprised to hear that dogs now have some unfortunate years of their own, which, according to D+KIRISHIMA, are the ages of 7, 10 and 13.

The exorcism service is taken very seriously, and is offered by a Shinto chief priest on the grounds of the hotel in front of a shrine that is spiritually attached to the revered Kirishima Shrine, which is connected to the sacred creation myth of Japan. According to Japanese mythology, the area of Kirishima is the “kingdom of the gods” where the nation of Japan is believed to have been born.

Once pampered pooches have been spiritually cleansed, they can get down to the job of physical refreshment, in a private rotenburo outdoor bath of their very own, complete with fresh, mineral-rich onsen spa water pumped direct from the source. Owners aren’t forgotten here, with humans being provided with a larger bath of their own so they can bathe alongside their dogs on the private balcony.

▼ After that, it’s time to sit down to a formal Japanese kaiseki meal, which also caters to human and dog tastes.

As surprising as the plan itself is the cost of the getaway, which is reasonably priced at 31,000 yen (US$302.17) per room for two people and their pup, including breakfast, dinner, and exorcism ceremony. To find out more, visit their website for details.

Source, Images: @Press

I have been married over half my life now. Overall, these years have been good, if not great at times. There are other times however, when marriage has been anything but good. Sadly, many of these times where brought on by my own stupidity. I’ve made many of the following mistakes throughout the course of […]

The post Common Marriage Mistakes appeared first on Simple Marriage.