Should a man in his 40s pursue a 19-year-old Japanese convenience store clerk?

Men and women feel very differently about whether this man should go after his crush in Japan.

It’s not always easy to navigate the twists and turns on the road towards love, especially when you reach a certain age and have been out of the dating game for a few years.

It’s a situation a 46-year-old man in Japan found himself in recently, and after being single for 20 years, he’s now turned to the Internet for advice after a beautiful young convenience store clerk appeared to show signs of interest in going on a date with him.

The man wrote in to the Career Connection news and advice site with his quandary, saying:

“I’m a 46-year-old single man on an annual wage of 4.5 million yen (US$41,373.60) who’s been without a girlfriend for 20 years. During that time, I’ve approached women, but it’s never gone well. I know the reason why is because I don’t have the skills to play the game and use dating tactics; I just adopt a very straight approach, saying ‘I like you’, which overdoes it and embarrasses them so they end up not liking me.”

We can’t help but feel for the man, as it’s never easy to gauge when you should play hard to get and when to show your interest in order to win over your dream partner. 

▼ Does this mean she loves me?

However, there’s a happy twist to this story as Mr Single says “a miracle has occurred” as he’s now found a glimmer of hope with a young woman who works at a nearby convenience store.

This young woman has a very likeable character and gets on well with lots of customers, easily engaging in casual conversations with them. Lately, her banter with Mr Single has grown to include her asking him whether he lives alone, if has a girlfriend, and what he gets up to on his days off.

This led to him asking her out to eat at a place that serves up tasty meals nearby, and she enthusiastically accepted his invitation, exchanging contact details on messaging app Line. 

While this all sounds like a pretty perfect scenario, the problem appears to be with the convenience store clerk’s age. Apparently she’s 19 years old, and this is a bit of a concern to Mr Single, who says:

“This sort of thing has never happened before in my life so I can’t help but wonder what’s up. She probably has no romantic feelings towards me! However, she says I should just chill. My worry though, is I’m really scared as to whether she’ll really end up liking me or if she’s going to see me as an idiot.”

With a 27 year age gap between them, it’s easy to understand the concern here. However, the fact that they’re currently communicating outside of her work on the Line messaging app means she must at least like him as a friend, and Career Connection’s advice is to take it slowly as friends first and see if love grows from that. 

▼ Just because she sells heart-shaped lollipops doesn’t automatically mean she’s got the hots for you.

After polling 230 of their readers to find out whether or not they thought the man should go all in on pursuing her as a potential partner, the responses were mixed, with 69.7 percent of respondents saying he shouldn’t pursue her and 30.3 percent of people saying he should.

Out of those saying he should pursue, 45 percent were men and 12.1 percent were women, leaving comments like:

“If you don’t try, you’ll regret it!”
“It sounds like you’ve been single for so long you’re now jaded by love.”
“Don’t overthink it – just let things happen naturally!”
“I think you should go for it, even though the probability of success is quite low.”
“I’m hoping a miracle happens for you!”

Those against the possible partnership left responses like:

“Of course she won’t refuse the offer of a free meal!”
“19 is too young and inexperienced. She’ll end up hurting you because she doesn’t know what she wants yet.”
“She’s probably just doing this for clout so when she talks to her friends she can boast about an older man inviting her to dinner.”
“You’re probably the same age as her dad so it’s unlikely she’ll have romantic feelings for you.”
“This kind of thing only works out in the fictional world of anime and TV dramas.”

Judging by the responses to the situation, a lot of readers appear to be jaded about the prospect of love between an older man and a younger women. Which is odd when you think about it, since so many relationships in the public eye fit this mould. After all, even Piko Taro’s wife is 15 years his junior. 

Still, dating a 19-year-old brings up a range of ethical topics, especially in a youth-obsessed country like Japan where anime schoolgirls are adored by grown men.

Where do you stand on the topic of love between a 46-year-old man and a 19-year-old convenience store clerk? Let us know in the comments section below, and whether you’re for or against the topic, here are six ways to avoid looking like an idiot at a Japanese konbini, regardless of whether you’re after love or sundries.

Source: Career Connection via Jin
Featured image: Pakutaso
Insert images: Pakutaso (1, 2)
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