Is milk really the best match for cereal? Why not try beer and these five other liquids?

Free yourself from the tyranny of big milk.

All our lives we’ve been told to eat our cereal with milk like good little sheeple, when all the time that combination has been nothing more than a sinister global conspiracy for cereal makers to boost their purported health benefits by piggy-backing on the high nutritional value of milk.

Granted, cereal and milk is extremely delicious, but there’s no reason it can’t also be a scam of royal proportions at the same time. Even in Japan, on a bag of Corn Frosty (also known as Frosted Flakes or Frosties in other countries), Tony the Tiger can be seen proclaiming: “Make it more delicious with Milk! Magic with Milk!”

▼ F you, Tony. I won’t do what you tell me!

In Japan, Cereal Day falls on 29 May because the numbers 5-2-9 read as “ko-fu-ku” in Japanese loosely coincides with “corn flake” if you use your imagination really hard. So, our reporter Seiji chose this day to become cereal’s new Independence Day, celebrating our freedom from the drudgery of pouring milk on our cereal every day, and instead opening a whole new universe of flavor combinations and possibilities with various other liquids.

Without further ado, let’s take the red Fruit Loop and dive in…

Orange Drink

Orange juice is notorious for not playing we with others, so Seiji decided on its more mild and saccharine cousin orange drink for his first test. Seiji figured since they were both sugary, there shouldn’t be much conflict with this beverage and Corn Frosty.

He was right! The sweetness of the drink and sugary corn flakes melded well, and the orangey aroma was quite pleasant too. If anything it was a little too sweet for Seiji and he though some pure orange juice might have been more balanced after all, as opposed to this ten-percent juice one, but that would have to wait for another Cereal Day.

Hojicha (Roasted Green Tea)

Having successfully warmed up, Seiji tried something more adventurous with the classic Japanese beverage hojicha. He wasn’t quite sure how this would work out, and at first glance the century-old drink didn’t seem like it would match with a cartoon tiger and his sugar-coated corn.

But Seiji was wrong! He could best describe this combination as “cool” in the style sense rather than temperature. Like the orange drink, this combination also had an attractive aroma that really added to the experience more than milk. The flavors of the tea and cereal conflicted but balanced each other out for a refined taste. It was even better than the orange drink!

Soup Stock Seasoning

Dashi, the name for a variety of Japanese soup stocks and sauces based on them, is as widely used in Japan as Corn Frosty is around the world. So, bringing them together was an exciting cross-cultural experiment, but also risky since the fish and seaweed base of dashi wasn’t guaranteed to go with cereal.

Seiji took one bite and was overwhelmed by how amazingly delicious it was! It tasted like a full-bodied meal but the essence of the corn flakes was still firmly present in the mix. This sauce is usually used for noodles, but with cereal there was a novel crispy texture that was really good too.

Monster Energy Drink

The flexibility of Corn Frosty was turning out to be much wider that Seiji had imagined, but up until now he had been mixing with other items that have high compatibility. For his next test, he wanted to find something that had a singular taste, not often mixed with other flavors, so he got some Monster energy drink.

It looked pretty gross to be honest, and it made a fizzing sound because of Monster’s carbonation. Seiji imagined that sound was Monster infusing the Corn Frosty with pure energy as he went in for a spoonful.

It wasn’t bad! But it was very busy, the crackling of the cereal and fizzing bubbles were going off left and right in his mouth against a background of intense sweetness. This seemed like an American taste to our reporter, which would make sense since both were American products.

Low-Malt Beer

The previous test showed that Corn Frosty could hold up to carbonated drinks, so Seiji decided to go one further and grabbed a can of beer for the next run. The wheat base of beer and corn base of cereal seemed like it should get along well.

That being said, the bitterness of beer might not lend itself well to the cereal. Let’s see…

It worked! The bittersweet taste found the fight harmony and it turned into a kind of edible shandy. It truly was a solid bowl of Corn Frosty.

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

So far the experiment had exceeded Seiji’s wildest expectations, so he decided to push the envelope for his final run and give his last bowl of cereal a generous coating of olive oil. Corn Frosty had proven itself to go well with a number of foods, something which olive oil is also famous for, but can they find common ground with each other?

Wouldn’t you know it? This worked too! The oil mixed with the sugar coating and created a kind of buttery sweet glaze, and the viscosity of it kept the flakes crispier longer. It was a nice texture for those who like to keep their cereal crunchy yet lubricated at the same time.

Conclusion

Considering we didn’t expect this to work at all when starting out, we are thrilled to report that cereal can go well with a number of other things beyond milk. It was a tough choice but if Seiji had to pick a winner from the bunch, he felt he enjoyed the smooth elegance of hojicha and Corn Frosty the most.

Granted, none of these substitutes match milk in terms of nutrition. In fact, a couple of them would probably be downright hazardous to your health, but this experiment has blown open the doors of preconception, leading us into a world of limitless possibilities of liquids to enjoy your cereal with.

Happy Cereal Day!

Photos: ©SoraNews24
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