Using the power of cosplay and friendship to stay warm this winter

Co-workers that hair together stay together.

It’s been rather chilly in many parts of Japan this winter and this has caused a serious problem for our writer Seiji Nakazawa. He has…well, see for yourself.

As you might have gathered from his horribly inappropriate attire, Seiji hates wearing winter clothing. Though he does like the puffy aesthetic, he finds the binding feeling of winter clothing too much to bear. So, every winter is a constantly losing battle between being either too constricted or too cold.

Seiji is also a devout otaku and feels that the answer to all life’s problems can be solved in the ways of the otaku. With this in mind, he checked out the cosplay goods for sale on Amazon and came up with this.

The Ultra-Super-Long Wig drapes Seiji’s body in 150 centimeters (59 inches) of warming synthetic locks, allowing him to continue enjoying the freedom of ripped denim shorts in the middle of January. It also only sells for 2,900 yen ($22), making it even more cost effective than winter clothing.

It was such a wonderful discovery that he decided to share it with some like-minded individuals in the office. 

With their hair majestically protecting them from the elements, it was time for this power trio to head out into the cold streets of Tokyo.

They proudly strutted through the streets, feeling the wind caress their bare legs but not succumbing to its icy chill, thanks to the protection of their luxurious hair.

They could also safely walk through even the sketchiest alleyways without fear, for they all bore the hair of mighty warriors from the days of yore. 

Suddenly, Seiji noticed that his colleague Ahiruneko was looking a little chilly. Thinking fast, he scooped up a bunch of Ahiruneko’s hair and flung it around his neck.

▼ Voila!

Standing there and looking at his friend’s head all wrapped up in hair, Seiji had yet another idea, perhaps his best yet.

▼ “Hop out of the bed turn my swag on♫”

▼ “Pay no attention to them haters because we whip them off♫”

▼ “And we ain’t doing nothing wrong♫”

▼ “So don’t tell me nothing, I’m just trying to have fun♫”

▼ “So keep the party jumping♫”

▼ “I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth♫”

▼ “I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth♫”

▼ “I whip my hair back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth♫”

Our three reporters merged their long head of hair together and created the ultimate in warmth and style.

It became impossible to tell where one man ended and the other began as their body heat circulated around them through the strands of hair, creating a warm aura of friendship.

Together they could brave whatever the Tokyo winter threw at them.

However, the Tokyo winter could actually throw quite a bit on this day, so they decided to walk over to the local Starbucks to recharge with some warm drinks.

As the Three Stooges had scientifically proven years ago, it is impossible for three men to enter a door side by side at the same time, so they first had to untangle themselves.

Normally, it would be far too cold to enjoy their drinks outside, but thanks to their Ultra-Super-Long Wigs, sitting on the curb felt just like being in someone’s living room.

What’s more, our reporters were drawing lots of stares from passersby, clearly all the women were drawn to the animal magnetism of their sexy long hair…and quite a few men too by the looks of things.

But this didn’t interest these guys, because they had all they needed in each other, with a relationship tied by friendship and hair.

After their drinks, there was a slightly morose feeling that this adventure was coming to an end, but Seiji kept everyone’s spirits up as they went back to the office.

As they walked he recited the words of Willow Smith, telling his friends that he would not let the haters keep him off his grind, because with his head up he’ll know he’ll be fine.

He’ll keep on fighting until he gets there and when he’s down and feels like giving up, he’ll think again.

And he’ll whip his hair back and forth. He’ll whip his hair back and forth. He’ll whip his hair back and forth.

He will whip his hair back and forth and whip it real good.

Wigs purchased from: Amazon Japan
Photos © SoraNews24
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