For just 5 yen, Amazon Japan’s cheapest possible outfit will have you looking like 0.04 bucks!

But beware the secret of the extra-extra-extra-large pants.

As regular SoraNews24 readers know, our Japanese-language reporter Masanuki Sunakoma regularly plumbs the depths of Amazon Japan, testing out the lowest-ranked products available. Just in the last few weeks alone he’s tested a dismally reviewed stress-relief bobblehead, ab roller, and screaming pot.

▼ There are better screaming pots out there…probably…

But we realize that spending so much time in the lowest abyss of e-commerce can cause long-term damage to the psyche, so sometimes we give Masanuki a break and instead allow him to review the cheapest things he can find on Amazon Japan instead. For example, last year we gave him 10 yen (US 7 cents) to put together an entire outfit. This year, though, our boss wouldn’t approve such a large budget, and so Masanuki’s funds were cut in half, to just 5 yen (4 cents).

And you know what? He still managed to get everything he needed, shirt, pants, and shoes, for just 5 yen!

The items Masanuki will be modeling for us today are:

● A 2-yen shirt (listed on Amazon as “Men’s Short-sleeve Florrita Hemp Men’s Print Male V-neck Solid Cut Sew Spring Simple Sweat-Absorbing Blouse Outerwear Fashionable Summer Striped Individual Big-size Short-sleeve Sports Thin Cool Going to School Casual Exercise Interesting Comfortable Loose-fitting)

● A 2-yen pair of shoes (Dress Shoes Mens Slip-on Fulorrita Leather Shoes Mens Dress Shoes Black Brown Easy to Walk In Walking Sneaker Breathes Well Anti-odor Light Anti-sliip Can Run in Them Big Size 24cm-29 cm fashionable Easy to Walk In Summer Platform Slip-on)

● A 1-yen pair of pants (Sarouel Pants Mens Zoiearl Cargo Pants Loose-fitting Fashionable Wide Pants Hakama Pants Big Silhouette Aladdin Pants Solid Sweat Pants Loose-fitting Pants Going to Work Breathes Well Quick-drying Big Size Casual Wide Pants)

All of the items shipped from China, with the shirt and shoes coming in one package and the pants on their own. Masanuki was pleasantly surprised to see that they’d been packed with care, the shirt in particular was neatly folded, with no signs of the rough handling/possible curses that he often experiences with his low-rated/-priced online purchases.

The shirt’s product page says that it’s comfortable to wear even without an undershirt, with a material that’s fast-drying for comfort even in warm, sweat-producing weather. Feeling the fabric with his fingertips, Masanuki felt like it would probably hold up to that claim.

The shoes aren’t made of leather, but an imitation material of some sort. The product page, though, says that this actually makes them more water and mold resistant that genuine leather shoes would be. They’re also supposed to have a sort of platform-effect, making your legs looks longer and giving you a more dashing silhouette in a suit.

As for the pants, they’re pretty much just ordinary athletic pants, but at just 1 yen, they have the potential to be the especially amazing bargain here. Just look at all the “scenes” you can use them in, according to the product page!

“For use as/for roomwear, casualwear, businesswear, schoolwear, extracurricular club activities, job interviews, hands-on work, travel, school cultural festivals, school athletic festivals, drinking parties, after-parties, class reunions, dinner parties, presentations, thank-you parties, days out, leisure, outdoor activities, running, weightlifting, jogging, walking, soccer, basketball, badminton, tennis, baseball, golf, fishing, hiking, other sports, business, formal, parties, barbeques, camping, dates.”

Pants that you can wear for lifting weights, interviewing for a job, and getting drunk? With this much versatility at this price, this might be the best purchase Masanuki’s made since that 1-yen hat that he turned into a high-percentage-return money-making scheme!

By the way, as the above photo shows, Masanuki made sure to order the pants in extra-extra-extra-large size. Though he’s on the tall side for a Japanese guy, Masanuki isn’t particularly plus-sized. However, when he bought the pants for his luxuriously expensive 10-yen outfit last year, the ones he received were incredibly tight, even though he’d ordered extra-large ones, so he went two sized bigger this year.

▼ Masanuki’s extra-large pants from a year ago

So how does Masanuki look in his new 5-yen ensemble?

Starting at the top, the shirt’s actually not bad at all. No telling if it’ll hold up after multiple washes, but it looks fine, and a nice touch is that the length is in that sweet spot where Masanuki could wear it either tucked in or out, depending on his mood.

Things aren’t so great at Masanuki’s feet, though, where…

…the shoes are so small that his heels stick out from the backs.

And no, he didn’t order the wrong size. Masanuki wears a 27-centimeter show (a men’s size 9 in the U.S. system), and he ordered 27-centimeter shoes, which were also the largest size available for them.

But where things really get cooky size-wise is the pants.

That form-fitting cut sure doesn’t look “extra-extra-extra large” to us.

Sure, they don’t necessarily look bad, but remember, these are the Sarouel Pants Mens Zoiearl Cargo Pants Loose-fitting Fashionable Wide Pants Hakama Pants Big Silhouette Aladdin Pants Solid Sweat Pants Loose-fitting Pants Going to Work Breathes Well Quick-drying Big Size Casual Wide Pants. That’s two declarations each of “loose-fitting,” “wide,” and “big,” plus mentions of “hakama” and “Aladdin pants,” both of which also imply a loose, breezy fit.

And again, we can’t stress enough, these are the extra-extra-extra-large pants!

By the way, some of you might be saying “Hey, Masanuki didn’t really put together a whole outfit for 5 yen! What about his underwear?” To that we say that going commando is always an option, and in this case might even be an absolute necessity, since those pants are snug enough there might not be space to fit another layer of fabric underneath them.

Related: 2-yen shirt, 2-yen shoes, 1-yen pants Amazon listings
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