9 middle-aged Japanese men try putting on their own makeup

How hard could it be?

Not too long ago, nine male members of our writing team submitted their faces to an app that generated a female alterego of themselves. The results were quite stunning, considering what the AI had to work with.

▼ What the AI had to work with

It also emboldened our team to take the next step and actually try to dress up their own faces in cosmetic products. 

The rules of this assignment were simple: First, each writer must wear the clothing that they wanted their significant others to wear from a previous experiment. Secondly, everyone was allowed to consult family and friends about what products to buy, but everything must be applied by the staff member themselves.

**WARNING: We stress that these are just normal guys putting on makeup by themselves, often for the first time in their lives. Keep your expectations low, because if you’re expecting miraculous transformations, you will be disappointed!**

So without further ado, let’s bring in our first contestant — Mr. Sato!

Our most intrepid reporter is actually no stranger to makeup. Having painted his face for several cosplays, he also uses it for his pole dancing performances. But it’s an infrequent habit and usually theatrical rather than for subtle daily use.

Still, it wasn’t a big issue for him to get the goods since he already had some on hand. He just picked up mascara, lip gloss, and blush at a 3Coins discount store for just 1,320 yen ($11.47).

Alright let’s see wh…Hooooo boy!

Dressed in his Janis Joplin-inspired attire, our reporter seems to have inadvertently taken on a Keith Richards face.

He admitted that he struggled with the products more than he expected. Our veteran reporter wanted to go flashy but may have gone a little overboard.

Next up is our fearless leader Yoshio!

Yoshio said that he didn’t know where to start with buying makeup so he just ordered a pre-assembled kit from Amazon for 4,200 yen ($36.50). His goal was to achieve the subtle look, as if he weren’t wearing makeup at all.

So, let’s see how he fared!

Well, it is subtle… On the other hand, he doesn’t really look much different than usual.

It’s a daring play, but maybe by applying as little makeup as possible, he can win by default if everyone else makes a complete mess of it.

Contestant number three is none other than Ahiruneko.

He was disqualified from the clothing competition for just copying what his wife wore, but this time seeking his spouse’s inspiration was permitted.  So, that’s just what he did after buying 7,000 yen ($60.83) worth of items from a drug store.

Did it work?

Not bad, but his eyes seem a little asymmetrical.

He confessed that he struggled quite a bit with the mascara and couldn’t apply it evenly. Otherwise, it looks like a fairly good job, and he said he now has a new appreciation for what his wife has to do every day.

Our next beauty is Seiji Nakazawa. Come on in, Seiji!

Much like with his clothing, Seiji let his love of anime influence his choice of cosmetics. Perhaps unsurprisingly, it didn’t help much so he just bought whatever he could from Amazon for 8,735 yen ($75.91).

Trying to emulate the look of his favorite anime heroines, Seiji also took the time to read the instructions that came with each product. Could this give him an edge over the rest?

Well…it’s very even.

Unlike the others so far, Seiji took the effort to hide the traces of his facial hair completely.

The result is a little thick, but that probably couldn’t be helped under the circumstances, and it does look even.

Seiji said that the eyeliner was a roadblock for him though, and the only thing that stood in his way to becoming kawaii. Still, he has a nice elder stateswoman thing going for him.

The next entry is Yuichiro Wasai, and here he comes!

Unlike the studious Seiji, Yuichiro was immediately overwhelmed with the 7,000 yen ($60.83) worth of cosmetics he haphazardly picked up. He said that he expected a subtle, natural look such as Yoshio’s would be easy, but once he applied some foundation he choked.

And the result…

Hmmm, maybe if he just smiled a bit? Ah, there it is!

It actually wasn’t a bad attempt either, but it seems we’re finding that our writers’ stubble is the biggest enemy. By obscuring it completely, their makeup looks caked on, but when going for the natural look, it’s not enough to hide the hair poking through.

Up next is Takashi Harada!

Takashi purchased 10,343 yen ($89.88) worth of Kate products with the assistance of a clerk at his local pharmacy.

Would his brand loyalty pay off? Let’s take a look!

It certainly seems like he went for a bold style, but Takashi later told us that without experience he started off applying too much, and simply couldn’t go back after that.

This especially happened around the eyes, though we can’t see it very well with his hair. The Joker-like job with his lips said enough, however.

And coming in now is our adorable golfer Masanuki Sunakoma!

While Takashi had just clearly demonstrated that money alone can’t buy a quality make-up job, Masanuki went the other route and went to 100-yen chainstore Daiso for his gear. He also sought out the advice of a transgender person at a nearby bar with the goal of looking like a member of TWICE.

So let’s see our thrifty TWICE star!

Masanuki also said that he abandoned his TWICE goal quickly into applying the makeup, simply because it was too hard.

However, the advice he got seemed to really pay off. Although it’s an overall bold look, his skill in blending shows and the colors even match his ensemble! He may just get an A for effort when this is all through.

Our eighth entry is none other than P.K. Sanjun!

P.K. went to the minimalist brand store Muji for his makeup to match his conservative business attire. He also got the assistance of a clerk there who provided our writer with all the items she felt he could manage, stopping short of an eyelash curler.

So will our P.K. pass the job interview?

It certainly is simple, but at the same time he kind of looks like an aging glam rocker. That might have more to do with the hair though.

However, being the tough guy he is, P.K. says that he doesn’t care if you like his makeup or not, adding that he’s happy to have been born a man and not have to do this every day.

This just leaves one more staff member, Go Hatori!

This might actually be unfair, since Go is our one writer with extensive experience at wearing makeup in his younger days. So, he decided to challenge himself by limiting his own budget to about 2,000 yen ($17.38).

Ooh la la!

Yup, signs of a pro can be seen all over. Everything is evenly applied, while also putting on the large amount needed to hide the facial hair without going overboard.

Go said that he spent most of the time setting up his base of foundation and lotion. Then, he applied another layer of light foundation, followed by some concealer. He also said he wasn’t completely happy with how the eyes turned out and probably could have done better.

So, there you have it! Each member took their job seriously and did their best to put on makeup, many for the first time in their lives. They also gained a newfound respect for what women have to do day in and day out. 

Everyone got together for a commemorative photo and Go showed us that he can even pose like a pro.

But applying makeup is an art like any other and taste is really subjective, so who do you think did the best job of the bunch?

Let us know in the comments below, or if you really want to have your voice heard with these guys, click on the “Read in Japanese” link at the end of this article and then vote in the poll at the bottom of the same Japanese-language article. The order of entries there is: Seiji, Mr. Sato, Yuichiro, P.K., Go, Yoshio, Takashi, Ahiruneko, and Masanuki.

Photos © SoraNews24
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