This Is Why You Shouldn’t Stress About Finding ‘The One’ In Your 20s

“Netflix and chill” is a phenomenon that has become engrained in our culture. It has come to symbolize the heart of hook-up culture, or rather, subculture. University campuses today are dominated by hook-up culture because there’s this notion our generation is more promiscuous than the previous one.

However, according to the University of Portland, the incidence of casual sex has not really changed over the past 25 years. With that being said, dating has definitely changed throughout the decades. With terms like “friends with benefits” and “casual dating,” modern dating has become a battlefield where hearts are won and broken, but never exposed.

Of course, this is not the case for everyone. There are plenty of people who don’t believe in laissez faire romance. Many have been in serious relationships.

Hook-up culture therefore hasn’t replaced dating, but it’s given us more alternatives to “traditional” dating. It’s changed the way we think about casual sex.

Keeping things casual can be a great option if it’s executed properly, with effective communication. However, when one’s expectations are unclear, one or both parties will be left fraught with alienation and despair. While this may be frustrating for many, this shift in attitude toward casual sex is inextricable from the dynamic forces that shape our society.

Just like any cultural rift, the underlying factors are diverse and multifaceted. Our generation has seen some of the highest divorce rates in history. In the US, 40 to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. We’ve become disillusioned and wary of relationships because we know love doesn’t always work out.

As human beings, we want to be more socially conscious than the generation before us. History serves as a model that influences us to avoid the mistakes we made in the past. Thus, we guard our hearts because we don’t want to make the same mistakes many of our parents made.

Moreover, I think society’s growing acceptance toward gender equality has also prompted our acceptance toward casual sex. While we still have a long way to go, I think society’s growing support for the liberation of female sexuality has prompted the change in attitude toward casual sex.

Our lack of dating can be attributed to the fact many of us are still in transitory periods in our lives. Thanks to our economy being left in shambles by the previous generation, a rise in feminism and various other factors, many of us are more ambitious and career-driven than the previous generation was.

Many of us are in the midst of our education, or are just now beginning our careers. One’s 20s is a time to explore career options, make connections and gain different experiences that can make or break one’s career.

It’s a time when everything moves fast. We also arguably move faster than the previous generations.

Many people are moving around because of their education or jobs. Many of us want to have a grasp on our education or career before we even think about someone else. It can be hard to start a serious relationship when we’re uncertain of what the future holds for us.

There are also both women and men who don’t want relationships for whatever reason, and that’s perfectly acceptable. Maybe they’ve had their hearts broken before. Maybe they want to be independent. Maybe they’re looking for something casual before they settle down.

Still, there are many ambitious young men and women who want meaningful relationships. If you’re one of them, I think you have to find a person who is compatible with you and reciprocates your desire to be in a relationship. Otherwise, it isn’t meant to be. Everyone is different, and that’s OK.

I don’t think modern love is doomed, and I don’t think it’s waiting to render its victims emotionally damaged. I think we live in a time where being in a relationship or finding “the one” might not be the best choice for most individuals anymore. Ultimately, I think it’s time to start shedding the stigma on modern dating and unveil the broader trends in society that have led to this cultural rift.

This Is Why You Shouldn’t Stress About Finding ‘The One’ In Your 20s

Credit: Dating – Elite Daily