Guys Reveal How Long It Takes Them To Know They Want A Long-Term Relationship With You

11:03 cherishe 0 Comments

When you're dating someone you could really see a future with, it's nerve-wracking to think about whether or not your guy wants a long-term commitment with you, too.

You try to overanalyze all the clues he gives you. Did his friends know who you were when he introduced you to them? Does he remember little details of things you tell him? Do you feel like you are his priority? How many times has he referred to you guys as a “we”???

According to the men of Reddit, it takes a guy a certain amount of time before he finally sees you as a girl he wants to be long-term with.

How long is that, you ask? Well, that's where things get, um, complicated.

Read along for nine very different, but equally as telling, answers:

This guy knows basically right away.

First impressions are key. Give it a week or 2 of asking other random questions. Usually about it for me.


This guy knows after a few dates.

A few dates at most. The more time together you spend, the easier it is to gauge the person, if you go on a day trip together, you'll know for sure at the end of it. The "no" side jumps out very quickly, ie, red flags, that are deal breakers. After that, it can take longer for some more hidden traits to come out, but the "no"s disqualify sooner than they "yes"s stack up.


This guy knows after spending a full day together.

Spending the day with her. After a day long outing with my current gf I was like "yeah, this is mine" haha.


This guy knows after having sex for the first time.

I know after we fuck for the first time. Our behavior the next morning or next time we see each other will tell me all about our future relationship.


This guy knows after a month.

Provided there are no obvious deal breakers, I'd say it takes around… a month of dating to tell.

After a month you're usually over "oh she's so hot", and just into a regular groove of realizing whether you like her or not.

This month timeline is based on the assumption you will see each other at least 2-3x a week.


This guy believes it depends on the type of compatibility you're measuring.

Long term compatibility comes down to a tripod:

  • Sexual compatibility
  • Emotional compatibility
  • Life goals compatibility

Sexual compatibility can be fully determined after 2-3 times together. Trust your own biology there's nothing complicated about it.

Emotional compatibility can be fully determined after 3-6 months of active dating. Key: go through some challenges together, and see how you communicate & work through them.

Life goals compatibility: again, can be fully determined after about 6 months. This is a combination of both sharing/talking about future goals, and also watching the person's actual actions to see what they do about their life.

I believe "good enough" in all 3 categories is required for a successful relationship long-term. Anything beyond "good enough" can be worked on, improved, and strengthened over the years.


I think there's a fourth, and that is timing.

You both have to be ready for each other. I've been with a few girls where we matched on all three legs on the tripod but we were at different times in our lives and it kept the relationship from continuing. One example is, one person isn't looking for a serious relationship right now. Another example is, one person just finished school and doesn't know what they want to do with their life or want to stay in the same city.


This guy knows after you open up to each other.

That honestly depends on how long it takes for you two to open up to each other. Trust develops organically and it's different for every couple.

Also I was looking through all the replies and I'm sure you can see that everyone has different necessities that are necessary in their partners that would potentially make or break it for them. Think to yourself, what are you looking for most in a partner for a long-term relationship?

I'd say just have fun with your partner, have things develop organically, and then the realization will hit you or it won't.


This guy knows after discovering mutual interests.

She enjoyed playing games on my PC and enjoyed watching the same YouTube I like watching.

We've been together almost two years and recently got engaged.


This guy figures it out by asking one very important question.

I know people hate tests….but they do work. Here's a simple one.

Rank the 3 items in terms of importance to YOU: Best Career, Best House, Love of Your Life.

This needs to be asked early and very casually or else it doesn't work.

If that doesn't work, then you need some solid dating. Although, simple questions like that usually does the trick for me, especially in a big city.


So, basically, it's a crapshoot.

Don't know where your relationship is headed? Just ask. Communication never hurts.

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Guys Reveal How Long It Takes Them To Know They Want A Long-Term Relationship With You

Credit: Dating – Elite Daily